Dear Kentarou,

My friend, who we shall call Mr. K from Ohio, harbours sexual desires for my 5 year old son. He recently asked me if I would "lend" my son to him for £200 an hour. Now, my problem is that this clashes with my Big Plan. You see, I wasn't planning on whoring my son out for another 7 years, and was going to spend that time making him work out to ensure his popularity in the local brothels. However, £200 an hour is a sweet deal, and when you consider the fact that Mr. K has the stamina of a horse, it could net me some pretty major dosh. What should I do?

Yours libelously,
Quin