*Set during the Cold War*
A young, pretty woman, an old hag, a Russian and a US soldier all get on a train. They all sit together in a private car, the lights go out as the train goes through a tunnel. A sound of a kiss, and then a loud smack. The old hag thinks to herself "That soldier must have kissed that young lady and she smacked him."
The young woman thinks to herself "That soldier must have tried to kiss me but kissed the old lady instead and she smacked him."
The Russian, bewildered, said to himself "That soldier must have kissed that woman, she must have slapped me mistaking me for him."
The US soldier chuckled to himself thinking "I kissed my arm and slapped that dirty Russian in the face."

(SPOILER)I have nothing against Russia! Thanks for the vodka!