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Thread: Where does a general keep his armies?

  1. #16
    Very VIP person Tech Admin Rantz's Avatar
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    What time did the man go to the dentist?

    (SPOILER)Tooth hurty.

  2. #17
    Old school, like an old fool. Flying Mullet's Avatar
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    "My dog has no nose!..."

    How does it smell?

    "Terrible!"
    Figaro Castle

  3. #18
    Dinner is served. Unbreakable Will's Avatar
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    *Set during the Cold War*
    A young, pretty woman, an old hag, a Russian and a US soldier all get on a train. They all sit together in a private car, the lights go out as the train goes through a tunnel. A sound of a kiss, and then a loud smack. The old hag thinks to herself "That soldier must have kissed that young lady and she smacked him."
    The young woman thinks to herself "That soldier must have tried to kiss me but kissed the old lady instead and she smacked him."
    The Russian, bewildered, said to himself "That soldier must have kissed that woman, she must have slapped me mistaking me for him."
    The US soldier chuckled to himself thinking "I kissed my arm and slapped that dirty Russian in the face."

    (SPOILER)I have nothing against Russia! Thanks for the vodka!

    Because I'm one hell of a butler.

  4. #19
    Would sniff your fingers to be polite
    Nameleon.
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    What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    (SPOILER)Finding half a worm in your apple.

    What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?
    (SPOILER)Psychotic's face.

  5. #20

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    Two I made up:

    What did the older brother say to the younger brother when he accidently dropped his dad's watch in the urinal?
    (SPOILER)Urine trouble.

    What do you call a man named Bob who broke up with his girlfriend Ruth?
    (SPOILER)A Ruth-less man.

  6. #21

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    What do you call a cow with no legs?
    (SPOILER)Ground Beef

    Where do you find a dog with no legs?
    (SPOILER)right where you left it.

    What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in water?
    (SPOILER)Bob.

  7. #22
    Draw the Drapes Recognized Member rubah's Avatar
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    the last one made me think of something one of the football players told us back in eighth grade that their coach said.

    I just gave birth to a little black baby. . . It doesn't have any arms or legs
    (SPOILER)it's a TURD

  8. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by NeoCracker View Post
    What do you call a cow with no legs?
    (SPOILER)Ground Beef
    What do you call a cow with two legs?

    (SPOILER)Lean beef

    What do you call a woman with one leg?

    (SPOILER)Ilene

    What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?

    (SPOILER)Irene

    What do you call a cow that has just given birth?

    (SPOILER)Decaffeinated

  9. #24
    carte blanche Breine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?

    (SPOILER)Irene
    :aimhappy:

  10. #25
    That's me! blackmage_nuke's Avatar
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    What do you say when you understand sign language?

    I see what you're saying
    Kefka's coming, look intimidating!
    Have a nice day!!

  11. #26
    Would sniff your fingers to be polite
    Nameleon.
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    Quote Originally Posted by NeoCracker View Post
    What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in water?
    (SPOILER)Bob.
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who can swim?
    (SPOILER)Clever dick.

  12. #27
    Old school, like an old fool. Flying Mullet's Avatar
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    In breaking entertainment news, it was discovered that William Shatner has three ears.

    A left ear, a right ear... and a final frontier!

    Figaro Castle

  13. #28
    Very VIP person Tech Admin Rantz's Avatar
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    xD

  14. #29
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    Is this the worst / most ancient joke competition? xD


    Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em:

    What's ET short for?
    (SPOILER)He's only got little legs.

    Why did the cow moo?
    (SPOILER)Because it's a cow

    Thank you and goodnight.

  15. #30
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    Why did I lose my shoes?
    (SPOILER)I feel asleep beside a basketball court

    True story, by the way.

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