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Thread: Where does a general keep his armies?

  1. #76
    Ghost 'n' Stuff NorthernChaosGod's Avatar
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    Lol, you're not supposed to have both tags be end tags.

  2. #77

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    Quote Originally Posted by DK View Post
    also, this

    Please... why would do this to me? Why would God allow you to do this to me?
    Quote Originally Posted by Raistlin View Post
    I am dumber for reading these.
    Agreed.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tavaryn View Post
    Q: What's the difference between an orange?
    A: (SPOILER)And the other one doesn't!
    Oh! I get it! You're missing 5/8 of your brain! :face:
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

  3. #78
    Your Prime Minister Timekeeper's Avatar
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    I was so happy when I saw this thread had made a come back

    Quote Originally Posted by Mercen-X View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Tavaryn View Post
    Q: What's the difference between an orange?
    A: (SPOILER)And the other one doesn't!
    Oh! I get it! You're missing 5/8 of your brain!
    It's similar to this one:
    How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?
    (SPOILER)Fish.

    It's not a pun, it's a non sequitur.


  4. #79
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    Nerd

  5. #80

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    Dren

  6. #81
    Your Prime Minister Timekeeper's Avatar
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    Now Jiro, that's just what, irony?


  7. #82
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    Can somebody hand me some dry ice because that burn wasn't very good.

  8. #83
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Loony Bob (Twintania)

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    A fire recently broke out in Seaworld, killing a man trapped within one of the buildings. Local police are treating the death as suspicious. The origin of the blaze is yet to be confirmed. An aerosol deoderant can was found along with a lighter close to the source of the fire and there was heavy damage caused by highly flammable gases and liquids which are used for the dental care of the theme park's animals. CCTV footage also shows that a performer known for fire juggling whilst standing on the backs of animals within the park was practicing his performance there on that night and has been taken for questioning.

    Police spokesperson Wesly released a statement advising "All we can say for now is that this fire was either Axe or dental or done on porpoise".

    I'm here all night, folks!
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  9. #84
    Would sniff your fingers to be polite
    Nameleon.
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    80% of English people didn't get it.

  10. #85

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    This one is so lame it almost becomes funny for that reason.

    "How do you get an elephant inside a fridge?"
    "You open the fridge, put the elephant in there and close it."

  11. #86
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    Daniel, I have never in my life seen a more forced, tortured, pathetic excuse for a joke. You deserve to suffer as you have made my brain suffer.

  12. #87
    Father of Death Tavaryn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mercen-X View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Tavaryn View Post
    Q: What's the difference between an orange?
    A: (SPOILER)And the other one doesn't!
    Oh! I get it! You're missing 5/8 of your brain! :face:
    Zing.


  13. #88
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raistlin View Post
    Daniel, I have never in my life seen a more forced, tortured, pathetic excuse for a joke.
    This is just how a good pun should be, so I am happy.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

  14. #89
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    I don't know whether to clap or hit you in the face Daniel. I'm so confused.

  15. #90
    Enderof1337 leader of mortals's Avatar
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    1 month is short enough to revive this, I think...

    From Impossible Quiz 2!!!

    What do you need to build a green house?
    (SPOILER)Paint

    When is a door not a door?
    (SPOILER)When it's a jar

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