This is a wonderful tale, indeed.
I enjoy the random riddles. It's like reading a Redwall book.
This is a wonderful tale, indeed.
I enjoy the random riddles. It's like reading a Redwall book.
Did I die or something? I forget. Well done Quin on preserving Rantzien's adventure
"And you're quite sure this will take us to the fabled Cave of Some Sort of Horrible Death?" asked Rantzien nervously, as he and theundeadhero clambered into the catapult.
"Oh sure. I guess." said Jessweeee♪, who rather seemed to be enjoying loading them into it.
"And it's perfectly safe, too?" he pressed further, wondering if her anger at losing had caused her to do this.
"Hmm? Meh. How the hell should I know? Just stay still for a moment." With a clanking, the catapult launched the duo skyborne. Rantzien was exhilerated. Here he was, racing through the air like a jet, wind in his face, assorted bugs flying into his mouth, it was as if he was free of everything.
"My birthday's coming up soon, dear boy" said theundeadhero, interrupting your thoughts.
"Is it?" said Rantzien.
"Yes. I just didn't want it to be awkward if you didn't get me a present."
"Oh. Uh. Well. Thanks for telling me."
"Not at all. It's on the 31st, you know."
"Oh, your birthday is on Halloween? That's kind of fitting, what with you being a skeleton and all"
"Afraid not. 31st of December."
"That's three months away."
"Yes. Yes it is. Well, just thought you should know."
Rantzien thought this conversation was far more awkward than it would have been if he had not bought theundeadhero a present, however, this line of thought was cut short when he had a rather disturbing realisation.
"Hey, hero?" he yelled out to his accomplice.
"Yes, my good fellow?"
"I don't want to seem alarmist, but how do you think we're supposed to la-"
Oh no did they die?
D:
Of course not. Rantzien's a Bumble, and Bumble's bounce!
Guardian XIII loved Shauna.
He had loved Shauna for many years. As a child, he had climbed up the tallest tree in the village to rescue her cat. He was terrified, but he did it just to see her smile. The years rolled on, but his love never dimmed. He picked wild flowers for her and made necklaces for her out of interesting stones he found by the river.
As a strapping young man, Guardian XIII finally felt ready to do what he had wanted his whole life, to marry Shauna. However, her father (note to self: change this to pimp????) Sagensyg would not hear of a poor farmer's son like Guardian XIII marrying his daughter, and refused to grant his permission. Guardian XIII pleaded with him, and Sagensyg relented, provided that Guardian XIII could prove his love for Shauna by bringing back the head of the rotten gorgon rubah.
And so Guardian XIII set out to slay the gorgon and win the hand of fair Shauna. He forded streams, braved freezing cold mountains, and traversed deadly swamps. He cut his way through humid jungles, navigated treacherous seas, and clambered up jagged cliffs.
The fierce Gorgon rubah was worse than any of the perils he had faced on his quest, and a most epic battle between the two occurred. Guardian XIII knew that just one glare from her accursed eyes would turn him to stone, and he took the iniative and stabbed them out. The wounded gorgon was enraged, and her barbarous attacks stunned our hero, and the serpents that made up her hair hissed and spat at him, and bit him, poisoning him. However, the power of love is not to be taken lightly, and eventually Guardian XIII overpowered that wretched creature and claimed her head.
Many months had passed and he was nearing the end of his journey, Shauna's warm embrace. The village was just around the corner. He could see it. Oh, how wonderful it would all be. He had done it.
SPLUNCH!
"You were saying something, dear fellow?"
"Well, I was going to ask how we were going to land, but this convienient pile of red goo seems to have taken care of that nicely."
"Rather. By jove! Is that the cave?"
"Huh, I guess so. There's a sign, so maybe that'll help us."
"Looks like it. It reads Cave of Some Sort of Horrible Death welcomes visitors of all faiths and colours. No flash photography."
"TODAY IS THE DAY FOR MY ADVENTURE!" shouted Rantzien, and he charged into the cave's mouth.
Rubah got beheaded? I WILL BEHEAD YOU, YOU BLOKE.
I don't like Rantzien or theundeadhero anymore.
I never even got to meet this Shauna lady.
Most definitely a part of Forever canon.
xD This is great.