[F] Rantzien's Adventures - an EoFF fanfiction.

[Psychotic]

"Wait wait wait" interrupted Rantzien. "How the hell can you create a black hole?"

"Through the power of rap, son. Check it." And lo, Quin did layeth down some phat beats.

My name's Quin Dawgg and I'm here today
To lay it straight on the line, okay?
I'm preachin' 'bout a faker
Aint nothin' but a taker

Rantzien goes around sayin' he's a hero,
For stopping krissy and beating Jiro
Back up bustah 'cause you just a zero

And look at this dirty filthy whore
With her weird-ass name, Melissaur
Trys to play like she a princess
Girl, you the product of incest

Y'all homies are just straight out whack
Gonna summon up a giant hole that's black.

Rantzien was taken aback. Nobody had ever served him before. Melissaur looked like she was about to cry, and Rantzien knew he had to do something. Aghast, the blood drained from his face. He couldn't go on...or could he? Those words...those words...!

Today's the day when I have my adventures
Step back, grandpa, or I'll knock out your dentures
Hey ladies, my name's MC Rantz
Just so you remember it when I'm in yo' pants
I'm a slam-talkin' Swede
Full of style and speed
Gonna send Quin's white ass back to France

Now Quin what are you doin', insultin' a lady?
I bet you never had a girlfriend you big fat baby
And please, that afro?
That's a no
It's gotta go
Fo' sho

You say you manipulate, like a master of puppets
Boy you couldn't even trick the muppets
Black hole? The only black holes round here
Are your mom's crotch, and the one in her rear

Peas.

[Rantz]

[Quindiana Jones]

Damn foo', I was just be playin' dawg.

[Melissaur]

Vikings can rap?

[Psychotic]

Sure can, but if you think that's impressive, wait 'til you see the Huns and their mad beatboxin' skillz.

[Christmas]

A psychotic can write stories, what so strange about vikings that rap?

[theundeadhero]

One day you'll learn a new word. A new word that rhymes with hero that isn't zero. I hope it's soon!

[Psychotic]

Jiro and Fearow are very context specific words. And I'm not entirely sure how I could work in Emperor Nero.

[G13]

Don't know how to rhyme, huh?

[Quindiana Jones]

NEED. MOAR.

[Psychotic]

Rantzien and Melissaur rode out of there in a sweet ass monster truck that was totally tricked out I am talking like smoke machine and like a disco inferno man that is how tricked out it was. They drove and crushed many cars because the cars were all enemies in the way of progress.

So off they went to a fair and they won lots of prizes. For example, a giant lilac coloured teddy bear that had lice. Rantzien liked fairs! Then they went to win another prize it was a giant balloon one that you could maybe ride home in and they wanted to ride home so that's why they wanted that prize. The game was ran by, oh, I don't know, let's say, Christmas, and it was very fun and Rantzien won.

"Well I don't care if you won Rantzien you'll never get any sort of prize from me!" Christmas spat.

"Now see hear" responded Melissaur who had big muscles and a heart to match. "We want the prize Christmas! Reward us suitably!"

"Not today! Not any day! Get back to your holes, hole-dwelling tubs!"

Nobody likes to be called a hole-dwelling tub, least of all Rantzien and Melissaur.

"Madam you have pushed too many of my buttons" Princess Melissaur sang. "It's time to duel!"

The two clashed and "there were 10 steps, turn around and fire!" announced Rantzien. So they walked

"One two miss a few ninety-nine a hundred!" screamed Christmas, Christmas the cheat, who span and fired!

Melissaur is made of 100% composite titanium and so Christmas's lead slug bounced harmlessly away into the skull of lots of orphans. Knewing that she had been found out, Christmas had to escape in her own hot air balloon prize!

The duo of destruction gave chase, ostensibly using jet packs but I'm not ruling out the use of giant feathery wings, and into the skies they soared to be victorious!

"No! This is my balloon! Forever and 'til the ending of time!" snorted Christmas with a fury of a thousand knife.

"Ah well you see" said Rantzien, putting his sunglasses onto his face "Today is the day for my adventure".

[Christmas]

Madam you have pushed too many of my buttons" Princess Melissaur sang. "It's time to duel!"

Can a mod change the word "Madam" to "Miss" plz.

[Psychotic]

No.

[Christmas]

[Melissaur]

xD This is the greatest story ever! I'm going to save it and read it to my baby.