dirty limerick thread [p]

[Raistlin]

Shlup, huh? Well, I'll take a crack at it.

There once was a person named Shlup
who really was quite the trollop.
people thought she's a man
despite her obvious cans
though her face should not be seen closeup.

I had a lot of trouble with the last line, and I'm not very happy with it. I wanted something dirtier but couldn't think of anything.

[Quindiana Jones]

I actually think the last line was the best!

[NAME]'s a hefty old mare
who's completely covered in hair.
There aren't enough candles
to wax her love handles,
and don't even THINK about going down there.

I wrote this and then realised it was actually really mean coming from someone who isn't really anyone. Limerick up for grabs!

[Shlup]

I wrote one for Psy and Shlup on a post I warned. I can't remember what they were though.

Her name is apparently Mandee,
which I think is awfully dandy.
Although she's a bitch ()
she's too hard to ditch,
because she keeps on giving me CANDY.

There once was a man named Psy,
who everyone wanted to die.
I said I'm excluded
and now my nose has portruded,
which always happens whenever I lie.

[Quindiana Jones]

Bwaha them's the lot!

In case people are wondering, I said I'd write love limericks to Shlup and hate limericks to Psy whenever I warned a post in some thread somewhere. If I say I will do something, I will do something.

Oh, and CANDY refers to the NEKKY PIX she PMs me every last Sunday of the month.

[Raistlin]

There once was a man named krissy
who acted like quite a sissy
but he pulled down his pants
and took out his implant
and told all the girls to get busy

[Psychotic]

There once was a guy named Raist
Who removed his pants from his waist
He took aim at Unne
Said "Afterwards, let's spoon"
And covered the doctor with paste

[krissy]

there once was a mage named wes
whose dick got him into a mess
he impregnated an empress
whose husband was quite a temptress
and said 'a threesome a night will be best'

[Psychotic]

An unnamed poet submitted this to me~

Once a young asia named peegee
Performed certain acts with a squeegee
He strained his back
Accessing the rack
of a windowwasheress from Fiji

Who could this anonymous wordsmith be?!

[Freya]

There once was a man named Joel
they said he was as ugly as a mole
Then Along came wes
Who played with his mess
And buggered him with his pole

[eestlinc]

you guys got to work on your rhythm.

[Raistlin]

Jojo wrote one about me:

there once was a boy named wesly,
and even though he looked quite ghastly,
i really liked his mom,
she was quite da bomb,
i want to do her like i'd do rick astley

[Jojee]

I liked my Kaycee one better Although I guess it's not dirty enough for this thread! ...But what happened after was dirty :-*

there once was a girl named kaycee
who was known for being quite racy
she waited for joy
dressed up and coy
all pretty and prim and lacy

[Marshall Banana]

~ A Wee Irish Limerick ~

Nothing is as dirty as that accent.

[eestlinc]

there once was a mayor of porre
whose mom was a dirty old whore
she forced him to give
poor Crono the HIV
which he died of in 2004

[Raistlin]

Ok, I'm not one to critique stretch rhymes, but "give" and "HIV"? xD