You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Christ! There's a bear in my oatmeal!
You: What do I do?
Stranger: who said what??
You: The bear said it wants to kill me!
Stranger: oh no!!!1
You: IT'S GOT A GUN!
Stranger: u need to call the police!!!!!
Stranger: or run
You: The Llama Police?
Stranger: that wrks too
You: I'll do both!
Stranger: yea!!!
Stranger: YAY!!!!
Stranger: u do that
Stranger: teehee
You: Oh bugger, the bear ate the llamas...
You: At least I still have legs!
Stranger: i thought that bears only ate vegetables, fruits and ffish
You: It keeps throwing acid tabs at me!
Stranger: what colour bear is it???
You: Teal.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: kk
You: Though it's fangs are the colour of Ghengis Khans beard.
You: And it has a tongue the shape of a walrus' laugh
Stranger: wow u got ur self the rare fanged ghengis khans, walrus laugh, killer bear!!!!!
You: And it won't stop making inappropriate jokes about teachers!
Stranger: dnt kill it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: I couldn't if I tried!
Stranger: yay
Stranger: just run
You: It's covered in a layer of bulletproof magnolias!
Stranger: of course
You: Besides which, I don't even have a gun...
Stranger: lol
Stranger: just run and let it get tired!!!!
Stranger: XD
Stranger: u'll be fine
Stranger: or u cud give it ur porridge??
You: But it's just taking a kilo of heroin!
Stranger: that works too
You: It'll never tire!
You: It doesn't want to eat the porridge, it just wants to hide in it! It told me.
Stranger: well, theres only one thing u can do now
You: Rescue a badger?
Stranger: write a will giving everything u own to me
Stranger: ok?
Stranger: XD
You: I own nothing but a variety of STDs.
Stranger: tthat works
Stranger: teehee
You: And a tendency to attract bears.
Stranger: i love bears
Stranger: but snakes are better
Stranger: lol
Stranger: aanyways im sorry it had to end like this
Stranger: but b4 u die, theres sumfin i really need to tell u
Stranger: ok?
Stranger: i love u
Stranger: and i alway will
Stranger: so when u die, u know at least one person will show up to ur funeral
Stranger: XD
Stranger: but i must go be4 the bear starts attaccking me
Stranger: ok?
Stranger: i love u
Stranger: and good bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.