One on one with the 501st.

[Quindiana Jones]

What is the proper way to eat strawberries?

I hardly think that's important for brain-obsessed moving lightsaber checks.

Where are the babes? Are they numerous or not? Are they scantly clad or very covered? Do they all have lightsabers? And can I sleep with Aayla Secura?

I have the babes. I keep them from the hideous atrocities that the Zombie Party would commit upon them. Only official members of the 501st have access to them, and I can assure you that they can be as scantily clad or covered as you want them to be. The Jedi have lightsabers, and we have created dummy lightsabers for those that want them. I'm not sure about the Aayla Secura thing, you'd have to ask her. She's usually over at the bar, drinking tequila and flashing a lot.

I like the stormtroopers outfit. Who designed this?

The Stormtrooper outfit is actually based upon the earlier Clone Trooper outfits. We merely took away the pansy colours to ensure they could be recognised as a clone army, which inspires fear even in mindless zombie drones. Thousands upon thousands of identical troopers. All equal in their importance!

What does your leadership say to the allegations that your pathetic empire can be overthrown by a whiny boy, two lame robots, a subpar pilot, Princess Cinnabon, and an oversized wookie?

Also, if you could say six words to George Lucas in response to the ongoing attempt to continually ruin his own franchise, what would they be?

As to the first question, it's ludicrous. Would this "whiny boy" be the same as the one who supposedly destroyed the Death Star? Oh, is that the one with the straw hair and ty lightsaber skills? Yeah, he's dead. Looooong dead. And Princess Leia now rides me daily.

Also: "Stop your ballbaggery, you fag-ending gash-hound." The same goes for the ty little "games" company.