God definitely exists... he just chooses to ignore me.

I burnt my arm on the oven the other day. Did he give me any warning? No. All I'm asking for is an ethereal voice to say...

"My son, doth though not see the impending danger of offering thy right arm to a heated chamber to retrieve a stuffed-crust BBQ pizza? If though uses the 'spatula of light' thy task will be successful and unnecessary pain avoided. Amen"

Nope, nothing. he probably just sat there, smirking... before swanning off to watch Angel porn on his laptop.