A dudebro friend and I got asked in a bar if we wanted a servicing by a very drunk - and in hindsight probably gay - skinny blond guy one time (I checked and it wasn't Marick <s>again</s>). It was getting pretty close to closing time and there weren't many people left so they all saw and heard what was going on. He assured us that he was amazing and his mum wasn't home this weekend so we'd have all night. After we declined him, he kept saying 'Ok' and then just standing next to our table for a few minutes before asking us again. After the third time, the barman was doubled over in tears of muffled laughter. Eventually the guy left and as we followed shortly after, everyone stared at us with "You gonna get raped" expressions. I just quickly jumped in the nearest taxi <s>but the driver was the gay guy the whole time DIRECTED BY M NIGHT SHYAMALAN</s>.

The following day we realised that we should have gone with him just so we could have robbed his TV or something.