I just made some raisin toast right. Went to get some butter. Put the butter on the raisin toast. You still with me? Good. Okay. So yeah it wasn't actually butter. It was olive oil spread, a healthy(ier?) butter substitute. Sure, that's fine; mum needs to have it due to some health issues. Whatever.

Point is, the tub said extra virgin. First of all, I didn't know my olive oil spread was a virgin. I mean, I'm comforted by the fact that it is; can you imagine eating butter that's had sex before? How does that even work!? UGH. Secondly, what does that even mean? It surely cannot actually refer to the process of reproduction because as far as I am aware, it is not actually like, "alive," and is actually "man made" right?

Guys my butter is freaking me out