Parents

[balloon]

my mom sent me a burned copy of a 1986 vhs recording of my sister oozeing out of her vagina. she told me it was a real popcorn movie and she sent me some cookies too what in the hell why is she so thoughtful i dont even call her

Some of you guys probably have parents. I made a thread, here

[Sylvie]

How old was your sister in the video?

[Sephex]

I stayed all up in my mom's business a month late because I was getting free room and board. Then some jerk kicks me out of my wombartment and slaps me to add insult to injury. Held up in there for 19 hours before they could get to me too. Bastards.

[Tigmafuzz]

I am a bagel.

[oddler]

Weird, I have two of those.

[Shlup]

My mum had to have a C-section because my head was too big to fit through her vaginal canals.

True story.

Similarly, my head was too big for my mom's vagina... so they gave her an episiotomy (a surgical cut in the muscular area between the vagina and the anus). Without any pain killers.

She never has let me live it down. ;________;

I also have a father, a stepmother, and my mom would be on her third husband but she's too chicken to get married again so they just live in sin. I've known my stepdad since I was a kid though so I like him.

[NorthernChaosGod]

I was a beast of a baby and was cut out of my mother.

[G13]

Okay, Bronan.

[Shiny]

I was born yellow. I had jaundice so I was literally the color yellow. It went away, but then I was white so everyone thought I was the wrong baby. To add to that, my mom said I had Asian eyes. Starting to look more like my mother now so I don't have suspicion that I was stolen from the hospital anymore.

[Tigmafuzz]

I was a beast of a baby and was cut out of my mother.

My mum had to have a C-section because my head was too big to fit through her vaginal canals.

True story.

My mum had to have a C-section because my head was too big to fit through her vaginal canals.

True story.

Similarly, my head was too big for my mom's vagina... so they gave her an episiotomy (a surgical cut in the muscular area between the vagina and the anus). Without any pain killers.

*snip*

EDIT: Not acceptable for EoFF. -Murder

[Shlup]

I was born yellow. I had jaundice so I was literally the color yellow. It went away, but then I was white so everyone thought I was the wrong baby. To add to that, my mom said I had Asian eyes. Starting to look more like my mother now so I don't have suspicion that I was stolen from the hospital anymore.

I was also born yellow. I looked otherwise exactly like my mother though.

[Shattered Dreamer]

I was born 4 days early and my Mum had to have a C-section due to the fact my heart rate dropped sharply during birth. I would spend the first 2 weeks of my life in an incubation unit a result. There are 10 years between my older sister & I and apparently 4 or 5 failed pregnancies during that decade. Not long before I was conceived my Mum's doctor recommended she have a histerectomy but she decided she wanted 1 more go at having a 3rd child. Thanks to my parents decision to try that one last time I am here today. I asked my parents a few years ago why they kept trying and they said because after they had 2 daughters they wanted to see could they have a son apparently.

[Quindiana Jones]

I was born wearing a smoking jacket, enjoying a fine cigar and reading Wind in the Willows.

Similarly, my head was too big for my mom's vagina... so they gave her an episiotomy (a surgical cut in the muscular area between the vagina and the anus). Without any pain killers.

She never has let me live it down. ;________;

Why the hell didn't they let her have any painkillers?!

[sharkythesharkdogg]

Something to do with the baby and not wanting to get painkillers in the baby's system I guess.

I was also a c-section. I mean......I used industrial mining equipment like augers and directional chargers and tunneled/bored my way out of my mother.

[Jiro]

I was very early and almost kicked the bucket. Good times.