Going away parties, right. How do you determine whether or not you're supposed to have one? Is it purely time related? Is it purely distance related? Is it some magical combination of both? Where do we draw the line on any of them anyway?!

Let me give you some examples. Say I was moving to Melbourne forever. I assume the duration of the trip is worthy of a going away party (or does permanently moving somewhere change things????). Now the distance is such that it wouldn't be impossible to see friends and/or family once a year or so, but it's certainly not a short little jaunt down a dusty dirt track.

Let's say I went on a six week trip to Edinburgh. That's definitely far away, but is it long enough? Six days? Six months?

But see now I have another problem. Is it all geographically relative? I mean, moving interstate in Australia is a pretty smurfing big deal. Moving interstate in the US is nowhere near as bad (depending on how many states away you go, of course). Going overseas from Australia is a huge deal -- New Zealand doesn't count because we own them and Papua New Guinea doesn't count because we used to own them. But if you lived in Europe, going to another country could take you like thirty minutes.

Guys I don't know when going away parties are acceptable. Also is it okay to go to somebody's going away party if you hate them? I feel like it's probably more fitting in that situation. What about, smurf, returning parties? Is there a whole other method for determining when these can happen? Can you have a coming home party without a going away party? Vice versa?

HELP.