Chapter 1: Old Friends and New Adventures


After a quick stroll down the road, the party notices a neat little building, called the Barracks Obama. They decide to enter it based on the prospects of [strike]sleeping guardsmen and women[/strike] equipment.


Oh look, a guy named Fuller! That's a stupid name. Maybe he has something for us to do!


Ok, you're fuller crap! Crossbow bolts? Really? That's just stupid. The Great Sir Quin does not waste his precious time performing shopping trips! Here, just take Laddy's little quiver, he doesn't use it!


O hai, experience. Anyway, Quin and Company walk done some more until the group sees a Bunkhouse. Excited by the further promise of willing participants in some fantasy roleplaying, they enter.


Oooh! He's eager; he's headed right towards Pike! Hux won't like that!


Apparently Pike says Quin's dad is her dad for some reason, and so this scary guy takes out a dagger and attacks Pike! WILL SHE SURVIVE!?


She does. Jiro shoots and kills him in one hit. I seriously couldn't get a capture of the battle because it was that short. Jiro smurfing rules.


This dwarf seems quite shiny. What does he have to say?


Quin, you lazy bastard! Now we gotta kill rats! You made this RPG cliche happen, Quin. You did.


Oh no! Rats! They'll kill us! They're attacking us! Will we ever survive these rodents?


One Word: Jiro. The rats are easily dispatched while the cats don't do anything. Lazy cats. You're lazier than Quin.


After taking the reward from the inexplicably holographic dwarf, we see a priest, and despite pretty much everyone in this party being an atheist, we pray for guidance on our journey. I mean really, what could be next? Space hamsters? I mean after rats and one dude with a butter knife announcing his desire to assault six fully armed people, some of which capable of casting fireballs, I'm willing to bet it gets a lot harder from here.


Dreppin. Have I said the names in this game can be pretty funny and stupid? No? Because they are. Hey, here's a game: add a bodily function after Dreppin. Hours of fun!


How does one leave a book in a pile of hay? Under what circumstances would that happen?


BALDUR'S GATE! AN INTENSE TACTICAL RPG IN WHICH YOU TAKE TEXTBOOKS OUT OF PILES OF HAY! Do you feel the 2nd edition Dungeons & Dragons yet?


Shorty is hot for preacher, so she wanted to see her favorite monk...if ya know what I mean.


His name is Shank? You're pretty much setting up your kid for a life of bounty hunting, aren't you? What parent names their kid after a term for a prison killing Who does that? Come on!


Pike has little patience for this fellow, so she pretty much tells him to shut it. He didn't like that. What will happen?


Jiro will happen. Don't smurf with Jiro, man.


Insert joke here.


Don't make excuses. We know why you were by those cows.


Anyway, here's your book. You freak.


At least she gave us this nice gem my cursor covers! How nice.

Anyway, that's enough for today! Tune in next time for tragedy, heartache, and other stuff! Remember to floss!