The first half of the episode was good, and the last half of the episode was good, with a lot of great suspense and development. But the middle was such a gigantic mass of obnoxious stupidity that I really had trouble taking the show seriously.

Painfully wrong legal clichés occur on TV all the time, but rarely with this density and to this degree. The Speltzer plot was forced forward so ridiculously that for a bit the show lost all believability. I know many of you won't care, but I just feel like ranting about some of this, so I'll put it below spoilers.

Legal crap1. You know that part where Speltzer is read his rights immediately after being arrested? You know how many times that has happened in the history of ever? ZERO. I know Law & Order popularized the conception of being read your rights as soon as the cuffs go on, but this doesn’t actually happen, and certainly not after a suspect has to be forcibly detained. You don’t have to Mirandize anyone until they’re asked questions, so cops will just arrest someone and not ask questions until they’re back at the police station.

2. You know that part where it’s implied that the ONLY time Speltzer was read his rights was immediately after the cuffs went on? You know how many times that has happened in the history of ever? ZERO. My criminal procedure professor called Miranda the great gift to police, because it tells them EXACTLY what they have to do to make sure subsequent statements can be admitted, and in modern times cops generally follow it to the letter. It is standard procedure even for cops in the middle of bumsmurf nowhere to read Miranda prior to an initial interview, and usually before each future interview as well. And many places even have the suspects sign a waiver of those rights at the start of every interview.

3. You know that part where Speltzer walks free immediately after seeing a judge the next day? Take a wild guess how often that’s happened in the history of ever. That’s right, ZERO. You can’t just go up to the first judge you see and demand he do whatever you want (and a motions judge can exclude evidence, not order someone’s release). Pre-trial motions for this sort of thing can take months and months. I have a client right now where we had a pre-trial motion to exclude a confession, and he’s been in jail pending trial for almost a year.

Glaring plothole4. Related to number 3 but more just a glaring plothole than legal stupidity: even if the incriminating statement was thrown out, why the smurf would he be magically let go? Do you remember what the cops did before they had the confession? Oh that’s right, ARRESTED HIM. What’s changed? The probable cause for that doesn’t randomly disappear just because subsequently-obtained evidence was thrown out. And the cops still had his DNA at his little shrine in the cemetery, and even without the circumstantial evidence of the house and the similar appearances that Deb saw (despite the mask), that is almost certainly cause to arrest and indict Speltzer, even if it might not be enough for trial (trust me, DAs have pushed forward with weaker). Even without any legal knowledge at all, this last point is mind-bogglingly stupid.

This episode had some more great development between Dexter and Deb, but to me some of it was lost in the sea of mind-numbing stupidity of the above. I was embarrassed for the writers.