Ode to "That One Guy."
That one guy who shows up sometimes in your multiplayer games. He has a simple, one word name like "Gregor", his Steam profile has no description, he may or may not have a picture to go along with his name, and he shows up, stomps all over the competition, and leaves without having said a word the entire time.
This is my toast to him.
Have you ran into this person? Are YOU this person?
We all wish we were, but nobody really is. Except Gregor.
I am actually that guy.
You hold my heart in your manly hands I wanna feel the throb of your handsome gland. I wanna hold you tight like a newborn kitten, against my flesh like a cashmere mitten. Tickly tick, I'm makin' skin bump heaven and all the way down it's lookin' cleanly shaven. Prickety pricks, it's stubble on stubble I better slow down or I'm in real trouble. Want you, touch you, feel you, taste you! Knick knack whacky whack 'till I see the man stew. spin you around let me see that hole! I'm a tunnelin' in a like a short hair mole. Once I'm inside I'm gonna leave a trace, half in there and half on that face! One finger, two finger, there fingers gone! Mano a mano I love you John!
No. In all of my Steam games I am called "Teddy Roosevelt" and I speak in Teddy Roosevelt quotes, starting each match with "speak softly and carry a big stick".
Oh, and I always win. Always.
Who was that guy who single-handedly held a key choke point in WoW for ages? To me, he is the ultimate Gregor; the Uber-Gregor, if you will.
When I was playing Darksouls, first guy I got to help me steam rolled the smurf out of the map.
Happened a second time, only he dropped a +5 Lighting weapon for me as well.
I salute those two wonderful people.
Sounds like me. I rarely talk to other people on online games outside of WoW. I just come in, smurf trout up and leave.
My finest moment in WoW was on my Priest, joining Warsong Gulch to find out flag carrier in our flag room being pummelled on by 7 Horde. Kept him and myself up whilst he killed them all. We never said a word to each other before or after - but we shall both remember how glorious it was.
It sounds like me in my teen years when I had more time to be great at the online games I played. I rarely talked because I had no mic and typing takes away from my ability to kill, but I'd show up, do things like kill the entire opposing team in CS, take on 4+ guys at once or kill snipers with a Thompson sub-machine gun in Day of Defeat, or wrack up 80 kills with fewer than 10 deaths as a Sniper in TFC then leave. I miss those days. I don't have nearly as much time to become that good anymore.Originally Posted by Aulayna
I do recall one guy in TFC though getting into quite an epic Sniper war with me. We never spoke. We simply took to the battlements and proceeded to match each other kill for kill while seeming to be the only ones who could kill each other. Then he left when the match ended and I never saw him again. It was all kinds of tense trying to match wits and reflexes with him.
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