*gin high fives for rob and bunny*
The first time I ever drank anything I was staying at my hoodrat friend Bailey's house. We were 16 and she had somehow acquired some vodka and we mixed it into blue powerade and drank it and uuuuugh it was so smurfing terrible that I couldn't have very much. She drank herself stupid and went into the bathroom to puke and drop her phone in the toilet while I stayed on the couch watching Poltergeist while her not-age-approproate older brother hit on me.
It wasn't a great night.

					
						
					
						
					
					
					
						
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. It's not like he intended to get me drunk because his son would fake fall for it every time and he would make sure to take the beer away, but still. I was six, not stupid. Like I was really going to believe he poured apple juice into a beer bottle and that somehow it magically smells and acts like beer once in the bottle. But he would stand there and giggle at me so eventually I tried it just to say "This isn't apple juice." Like I had told him I already knew. About 14 times.










