What if...

You were out partying in Vegas, painting the town red. You were bouncing from bar to bar, casino to casino, really putting away the drinks... and I mean, smurf it - what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, right? You awake the next morning in your hotel, your head pounding... who the smurf put the Sun in this hotel room, god damn your eyes bur.... what the smurf is that. What is that thing in the bed next to you. It feels... rubbery...

And then you realise that laying beside you is Aaron "The Man" Freed. "Morning wifey!" he clicks with his mandibles. You look down at your ring finger, and you let out a silent scream.