Mine would be the fetch quest to end all fetch quests. Your castle would need to be full-size before I even bothered talking to you, and I'd only be located deep in the Tinto Mines most annoying dungeon you already had to traverse once earlier in the game. You would have to come talk to me on at least two separate occasions to recruit me.

Remember that Sarah chick from S1 who wanted soap, so you had to make a number of little trades throughout the town to get soap, only to find out she had the stupid smurfing soap all along? That would be me, just throughout the entire world.

This would be my revenge for every annoying recruit throughout the series. HAH IT'S MY TURN NOW