Where the hell is L0nny SloB?

[Night Fury]

Where is that Chocobo head?

I haven't seen him post in days. I also sent him a PM which he hasn't replied to. I'm making this thread just because I know how much he hates when I don't reply, and how much he calls me for it from time to time.

So, where is Loony BoB?

Theories for the disappearance please. Whoever comes up with the best/funniest wins.

PS. I'm also accepting MS Paint drawings and they're actually highly encouraged.

[NeoCracker]

Loony BoB is neck deep in illegal Taiwanese prostitutes.

[Yerushalmi]

Unbeknownst to all, Loony BoB has for several years been working on an elaborate and important project: the representation of every single aspect of his physiology, his psychology, his personality, indeed his very soul, into a single, automated, integrated spreadsheet.

A few days ago he finished his mathematical model of a single hair follicle positioned slightly above and behind his left ear, which was the very last thing he needed to create a complete representation of Daniel Towns in a single .xlsx file.

And when he clicked save, the physical Daniel Towns ceased to exist.

They say the spreadsheet is still updating, numbers moving back and forth, numbers increasing and decreasing across its cells, numbers ever changing, ever developing, but to what end nobody knows for sure...

[Psychotic]

I forgot the password to that account, sorry.

[Chris]

[noxious.sunshine]

BoB-O I think was tipsy and pm'd me his votes for The Sims.

I laughed.

[Quindiana Jones]

Nairobi.

[Jinx]

a loony sob.png

[Spooniest]

Unbeknownst to all, Loony BoB has for several years been working on an elaborate and important project: the representation of every single aspect of his physiology, his psychology, his personality, indeed his very soul, into a single, automated, integrated spreadsheet.

A few days ago he finished his mathematical model of a single hair follicle positioned slightly above and behind his left ear, which was the very last thing he needed to create a complete representation of Daniel Towns in a single .xlsx file.

And when he clicked save, the physical Daniel Towns ceased to exist.

They say the spreadsheet is still updating, numbers moving back and forth, numbers increasing and decreasing across its cells, numbers ever changing, ever developing, but to what end nobody knows for sure...

"V'Ger has knowledge that spans this universe. And yet...with all its pure logic...V'Ger is barren. Cold. No mystery. No beauty. ...Should have known. [...] Jim. This...(takes Kirk's hand)...simple feeling is beyond V'Ger's comprehension. No meaning...no hope. Jim...no answers. It's asking questions...'Is this all that I am? Is there nothing more?'"

[Faris]

Have you checked under the bed? He could be under anyone's! There's a whole world under there.

[noxious.sunshine]

OH HEY FARIS.

*Feels ignored and unloved*

[Del Murder]

I think you'll find him under Yoshi-P's desk.

[Jinx]

I think you'll find him under Yoshi-P's desk.

Oh, so he's been currying favors to get into ARR faster...

[Cuchulainn]

I have it on good authority that he's currently under arrest, being questioned in matters relating to Operation Yewtree.

[DK]

this thread reminds me of the time I was still on site staff writing articles for the front site and lonny bob disappeared for a while and I was bored/a twat so I decided to post this:

At EoFF, we, the Site Staff, are dedicated to not only bringing you all of the most up to date news regarding Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts and the Mistwalker games, we are also dedicated to giving you the most comprehensive guide to every single one of these games. We feel we've done a pretty good job, too. However, work has slowed to a crawl recently, and this all comes back to one same reason.

I...I don't know how to break this to you people but...Loony BoB has gone missing. We can't find him. He could be face down in the back of an alley somewhere in downtown Edinburgh, or even worse, he COULD be somewhere like Wolverhampton. Or Rhyll. I don't know. None of us know. And without him here to head our team and organize everything, we're falling to pieces. SamuraiD has disappeared into a pit of despair somewhere, FlyingMullet has fallen back into his old ways and started hitting the bottle again; he can't even tell the difference between FFVI and FFVIII anymore. I've never seen him this bad. theundeadhero recently made a return to the Site Staff forum after an absence, and well...the state of things hit him really hard. You have to remember, guys, he left at a point when the Site Staff were at the peak of their powers. He returned to find our beloved leader gone and the place looking like Iraq. He was so distraught he killed a man and we had to send him to the foreign legion so he didn't get sent down for life. We won't see our dear friend again for a long time because of this.

Azar and Strider have convinced themselves that it's not really happening and that BoB is still with us, they've built a Chocobo out of yellow towels, kiwi feathers and various Eyes on Final Fantasy members hair and have "meetings" where they sit and talk to this abominable creation to try and discuss the future of the Dirge of Cerberus section. The only person who is apparently unaffected by this is Spatvark...now, we all know what Pete is like. There have been whispers that he's the reason behind BoB's disappearance, the rage that has consumed him for years finally got the better of him and he took it out on sweet little Towns. Of course, in public he gruffly denies this and pledges his allegiance, but you never know with that one.

As for myself? I miss my Townsy-wownsy. The comforting arm around the shoulder whenever updating gets too hard, the little smile to let me know everything is okay...I can't function properly anymore. A broken man. EoFF without Loony BoB itself is broken. It's incomplete, like someone has taken the Mona Lisa and cut her nose off.

And so, we cry out to you, gentle public. Please help us, as a service for us and for yourselves. Any information you can give us about Loony BoB's whereabouts, any leads, anything. Help us find him and bring EoFF back to glory! You can join the forums and PM us Site Staffers with knowledge of his whereabouts, or e-mail me with my address here with any information you may have. He was last seen somewhere around forum member fire_of_avalon's house enquiring if she might give him some of her hair to add to his collection.

Please, anything you know might solve the case. Eyes on Final Fantasy thanks you!

on EoFF's front site. my favourite part was when two people I knew on a completely unrelated (read: cricket) forum that me and Towns also used to post at actually saw it and sent me e-mails telling me that I could find Towns at said forum. They didn't even know it was me who wrote it because I used completely different usernames, and they both seemed geniunely concerned. It was brilliant.