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Thread: Traffic Jams

  1. #1
    Formally Mr. Shauna Dat Matt's Avatar
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    Default Traffic Jams

    So today was my first experience with traffic jams. My regular route was blocked and I had to take a side road home and had quite a journey.

    I wrote a facebook post detailing the story that I will spoiler cause it is super long and heartbreaking

    So Driving home today as I do, and it turns out that the dual carriage way is closed at the Queensway. Knowing literally 0 other routes home I sobbed uncontrollably at his fact for about 90 hours and decided to follow the other traffic that was heading through Thornliebank.

    It's a this point I am lost, straight off the bat. I followed the car in front of me. He turned to somewhere that looked like it was going to East Kilbride which was fine by me. 700 miles of tailback there too. I see as side road after waiting for a minute or two that says "Eaglesham 5 Miles". "I have heard of that name" says Matt "What a grand adventure it'll be!".

    After a few minutes of driving down unknown country roads, there is a sign. Left for East Kilbride, Right for Eaglesham. "Great! I'll take a left" I said. I wound up at a farm. There was a man with a pitchfork standing there shaking his head at me, so I turned the car and got the hell out of there.

    Continuing to Eaglesham there was a large number of encounters on the single lane country roads, including one with a rather large van. I was on the grass for most of this passing but I made it out and into civilization! "Welcome to waterfront". "Wat?" Wondered Matt. "This isn't Eaglesham!" he grumbled, turned down the radio and rolled down the window to help him think cause that totally works. I came to a main road with crossroads. after a game of eine meine miney mo I went left an found myself at a familiar spot, the motorway.

    Fantastic, I know where I am! So I drive through and finally hit Eaglesham! Hot dog! There is a massive, but moving, tailback leading to East Kilbride. "Jesus Christ" yells a cyclist as he passes, despite the fact he is exempt from tailbacks, jerk. So reaching the the point where the tailback starts to hit I find a small side road. "This side road will bring be homeward bound, I remember going down it one time in the last 5 years" he said nervously. So away I went. Suddenly disaster struck. The Fuel Light turned on...

    Not knowing where the road was leading me, and with low fuel the uncontrollable sobbing had now flooded the car and my tears were escaping through the open window. After about 10 minutes of cautious driving down these side roads I acquired a companion to join in my journey, I called him red car. He would follow me wherever we went, we were inseparable. Knowing that I wasn't alone on these roads made the crippling sorrow of not knowing where I was going bearable and I drove on. I reached a fork, the sign was obstructed by trees. Left or right, choose your fate the reaper said to me in my mind. I went with the gut instinct that there were houses on my left all the way home, and dark fields to my right so I made the call to go left...

    Driving down this unknowing winding road I suddenly found a glimmer of hope. A single streetlight beckoning the way, "keep going" it said to me. I followed and eventually I found a familiar road. It was the road I used to drive on as a Learner and was about 3 minutes from home. I pulled into the driveway and fanfares bellowed the journey was over! I rejoiced as my quest was at it's end. Truly Matt's Finest Hour.



    What is your experience with traffic Jams. Is it a common occurrence in your day to day lives?

  2. #2
    Slothstronaut Slothy's Avatar
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    So today was my first experience with traffic jams.
    Sorry, I haven't read anything past this sentence because my brain can't quite comprehend making it to 23 years old and never experiencing a traffic jam before.

    My city isn't huge, so they aren't an everyday thing barring a roughly half hour window in the morning if you try to get across the bridge to the south side of the city, but they do happen. Especially if there's an accident or construction on the bridge, or if there's anything big going on like the Harvest Jazz and Blues festival in the fall.

  3. #3
    Formally Mr. Shauna Dat Matt's Avatar
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    I've only been driving since September and this is the first instance where I've been in a traffic jam that is related to an accident or some roadworks that actively made me change my route. I've been in them before, just not behind the wheel of a car.

  4. #4
    Not a Banana Mo-Nercy's Avatar
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    I play Ingress. It makes traffic jams fun, provided you're on top of a cluster of portals.

  5. #5
    Shorty's Avatar
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    I experience the usual slowing of rush how traffic, but this morning was the heaviest burst of snow we've had this winter and we were backed up for miles crawling at three miles an hour and even stopping at several points on a 70 MPH road. In my 30 mile journey to work, I passed not one, not two, but three vehicles that had spun out and were either a) perpendicular with traffic or b) had done a 180 and were facing the wrong way, one of them having gone through a fence.

    Needless to say, I was embarrassingly late for work and afraid for my life during the entire drive.

    The biggest cause to traffic jams in my area on the freeway, though, is that it's only two smurfing lanes long. When something happens, one lane is always always always closed off and the entirety of traffic has to bottleneck into one lane and it is a smurfing nightmare. GIVE ME BACK MY SIX LANES OF FREEWAY LIKE IN NORMAL CITIES YOU HACKS

  6. #6
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    It will probably add a touch of spice to this story to know the reason for the jam was that some guy was threatening to jump off a flyover and it was causing tailbacks all the way through town. From 3-7pm or something.

    I don't have a car or a license so I can add nothing further.

  7. #7
    Formally Mr. Shauna Dat Matt's Avatar
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    I did not know this until Shauna mentioned it.

  8. #8
    noxious.sunshine's Avatar
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    God.. 7 a.m. going towards Nashville is the worst.

    Just driving from Smyrna- which is only a 15 minute drive under normal circumstances - winds up being an hour. And taking back roads to get to my 'hood don't work 'cuz everyone else tries going that way and yeah.

  9. #9
    Quack Shlup's Avatar
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    You can't drive in Southern California without traffic. My worst experiences were when it snowed about 1/8" at my house and it took me four hours to get to work (usually a 30 minute commute)... The next year there was some kind of apocalypse where my house and my work were separated by a wall of dust where you could barely see the front of your own car. I made it to work just in time for my last period class; the next couple of days I just got a sub.

  10. #10
    Eggstreme Wheelie Jiro's Avatar
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    smurfing traffic jams everywhere. I try to only drive at really stupid hours of the day to avoid them. smurfing traffic I can't stand it.

    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


  11. #11
    Some kind of Nature~ Fonzie's Avatar
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    The bridge I take to get to class was jammed for like 30 mins when I drove there because a teaspoon of ice was on the surface of the roads.

    My soup got cold by the time I could eat it.
    Last edited by Fonzie; 01-30-2014 at 07:11 AM. Reason: look up

  12. #12

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    I live in a city, so there is always traffic! There are currently some roadworks going on that are making traffic even worse than usual, and they're not due to end until next year.

  13. #13
    Minami's Avatar
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    I live in the country. my biggest problem is tractors :/


  14. #14
    Kuldotha Rebirth escobert's Avatar
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    I live in the country we just get stuck behind tractors. no traffic jams.

    lol didn't even see the above post.

    All goblin rituals serve a dual purpose as fertility rites, even the destructive ones. Especially the destructive ones.

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