First two questions! Keep them coming, Dear EoFFers!


Dear Aeris,

So, I recently kidnapped this girl (at her uncle's request!), and she's really cute. Soft butt too! I think I might be starting to fall for her. I'm usually pretty smooth with the ladies, but this girl... I know she likes me, but I just don't think she's that interested in me.

How do I get her interested?

Sincerely yours,

monkeylove16
Dear monkeylove16,

From what you're telling me, it sounds like she's taking the kidnapping fairly well! This suggests to me that she likes the danger Perhaps you could try exposing her to more and more danger until she falls for you? Giant snakes! Sandstorms! War and destruction! Drag her to another continent on the back of a wild beast! Why not take her to another planet entirely? Something's bound to stick.


My boyfriend doesn't make much money, but he still goes out of his way to get me nice things. I don't have a job so I can't afford to buy him anything and I feel bad because there are so many things I wish I could get him. What can I do for him for Valentine's Day to show him how much I love and appreciate him?
Dear Valentine,

While he's out of the house, make the biggest pillow fort possible. Make it cover the whole place! When he comes home, he should have to make a long journey through the winding ways of the fort, following a path laid out with rose petals, before finally reaching his goal - an undressed girlfriend! Warm him up for a bit and then release the bees!
:mymelomfg: