I was barred from going outside at break times for the entire 2nd year/grade of school because on the first day of the year me and my best friend at the time thought for some reason that it was a good idea to tackle one of the ginger kids, take his shoes off and throw them over the school wall into a garden.

I once left a message on an EoFF members voice mail screaming at them for 5 minutes about how they'd sold me a table where the underside was covered in stuff they'd picked out of their nose, in a manchester accent.

I was once kicked out of IT class for sitting on my friends head and doing a rancid, wet, 5 second fart. The teacher called me a filthy animal!

I am absolutely howling with laughter at these