Let's Harry Potter Games - Help Choose The Next Instalment!

[Shauna]

There has been an outbreak of Potter fever around these parts recently (can you tell I started this about 2 months ago?), and I have just finished reading The Philosopher’s Stone in my first reread of the whole series since The Deathly Hallows came out. So, I am going to chronicle my thoughts and feelings on each book as we go along because my opinions matter to every single one of you. Breaking it down to its individual parts, and analysing important scenes. It is going to be a magical adventure.
Without further ado, I present:

Shauna Reads Harry Potter!


A terrific book.

We start our story following the everyday lives of Vernon and Petunia Dursley as… we find out that something… odd… has happened. People dressed in… strange clothes... …Zzzz….
…zzzz…




Ugh, nevermind this. Reminds me too much of those English Literature classes I so loathed. Let’s just play some video games instead. These will have as much great quality as the novels themselves, I’m sure. It’s not like video game adaptations of things are bad at any point.

Shauna Plays Harry Potter-Related Video Games!


First up we have a GameBoy Color Entry

This particular iteration of Harry Potter video game plays as an RPG. As you learn more spells, you have more moves to use in battle. Sounds interesting. I like Harry Potter, I like RPGs – where can this go wrong? Let’s boot this bad boy up and experience the magic for myself!

There is an American Language option for those of you who are confused by what a "Philosopher's Stone" is

There is some annoying musical loop playing over this menu (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (GBC) - Main Theme - YouTube). The same little Harry Potter jingle, over and over. That won’t get annoying at any point. No siree. But boom, New Game - take me away to other annoying jingles.

Brief.

Oh hey there little boy who knows nothing about the magical world, have this explanation of one sentence of what’s going on for the rest of your life. I realise the book was just as bad for this, however seeing it written on this letter just emphasises the issue. He deserved more of an explanation, dammit!
Moving on, we start our adventure in Diagon Alley with our friend Hagrid.

Welcome t- Wait a second…


Welp.

Ah the good old days when these were considered decent graphics. Along with that, we are definitely spoiled with Harry Potter when it comes to visual things because of the movies. It’s unfortunate. If I didn’t vaguely picture Robbie Coltrane whenever I thought of Hagrid, I’m sure this little purple guy wouldn’t be as amusing to me. Although, Harry’s little profile picture isn’t nearly as bad, I find.

Almost looks normal.

Crazy profile pictures or not, we’re in Diagon Alley, and Harry has to get his wand. Of course, instead of doing what I’m supposed to, I run around the area stealing things and chatting to the interesting people of the wizarding world. More annoying loops play as I wander around. I will cut it some slack because it is just a GBC game, though.
The first thing I find are some Famous Witches and Wizard Cards! These appear to be some kind of collectable which help out in-game in some way or another. I’m sure I’ll never use it. Of course, these cards are hidden in the usual places…

...inside pots and barrels...


...being held by an owl...? Okay then.

As I mentioned previously, we have some interesting characters in Diagon Alley. They are the usual NPC fare, giving advice, talking nonsense…

Windswept wizard warns me of what lies ahead...


While Hoodzard raves about how great I am

There are a number of shops around the alley, places to buy potions, sweets, equipment such as boots and robes. There’s also a broom shop who turn me away because I am not even a first year yet. Massive dicks. However, once again, I have to bring up the profile pictures. Shortly after leaving Hagrid, I came across this guy:

Good god he has flesh whiskers

This is what truly started my obsession with these odd little pictures. Here is a sampling of what Diagon Alley has to offer.

So beautiful, it makes me cry

Enough of that people watching. Time to go get my wand so I can move on with the game. I head into Ollivander’s and Hagrid immediately bails and tells me he’ll be in Gringotts. Gives me some one on one time with the man himself, Mr Ollivander. He was always a vaguely creepy guy, I hope this translates well to the scre-

Oh.

Well. Okay. Creepy in a different way. He gives me my wand, and tells me that it comes equipped with two spells: Flipendo and Vermillious Uno. Equipping spells, okay. I suppose they’ve got to do what they’ve got to do to make this game work.

I certainly hope you won't be casting any spells, Harry. No magic outside of Hogwarts!

Outside, I am accosted by some nerd kid who wants to talk to me about the Famous Witches and Wizard cards. There appears to be a use for the cards in battle, I guess I'll have a look at that when I get to the battling part. The nerd gives me a starter pack and everything, to start me on my fun journey of Wizard Cards! There was a selection of names I didn’t recognise for the starter packs, so I went with the “Gregory the Smarmy” deck. Harry also comes out with quite a line in regards to cards.

As if the Dursleys would let you have a pack of cards, you might start doing card tricks!

The little guy leaves me alone, and I head to Gringotts to get some cash. After reconvening with Hagrid and meeting up with Griphook, we head into the depths of Gringotts where Harry is an absolute tool.

OH NO I FALL DOWN WAIT

He legitimately stumbles over nothing, leaving me to navigate the same walls of Gringotts to find his vault. Convenient excuse to get Harry on his own, game. God help us all.

[Formalhaut]

This will be pretty amusing

[Jinx]

I CALL BULLtrout IN THE BOOK THE LETTER IS WRITTEN WITH EMERALD INK NOT LILAC LOCKHART USES LILAC AND HE DOESN'T COME IN UNTIL NEXT BOOK

Okay, seriously though, I owned Chamber of Secrets and that game was HARD AS trout. Horrible controls that just brought on so much rage.

[Pike]

These portraits are amazing.

[Shauna]

Yes, that sounds like the Harry Potter games of my childhood.

EDIT: I know, right. I have like a million more saved because they are all gold.

[Madame Adequate]

Do you have chimney numbers for either of these hot honies?

[Shauna]

We last left our hero rolling around on the ground as he found he couldn’t walk under the weight of his newfound magical powers.

Gringotts serves as our first dungeon. Here is where I will learn how the game works. You wander around, running into enemies. They appear on the field as bizarre blobs of sparkly blue.

Terrifying

Touching one of these things brings us to the battle screen.

Zzzzzzzap!

Harry has limited magic points? Okay. Magic is limited, kids, don’t forget it! Choices are spell, card, item and flee. I know which one of those I won’t be using. That’s right, card. I said before I’d check it out, but I haven’t, and I probably won’t ever. My spells are enough! Speaking of spells, here are my options with required magic points each.

Here they are. No witty comments here.

Gringotts as a dungeon is not very exciting. It’s all the same all over the place. Although there are some unexpected surprises in some inconspicuous locations. Like this gaping hole in the wall!

It’s a Wizard Card!

Bizarre.

Eventually, I come across the boss of the level. I recognise it’s a boss because the wiggly blue thing is BIGGER and MORE SPARKLY.

Thar she bloooowwwwws

It’s a giant rat. He’ll be easy. I will kick his butt. Awwww yeah!

FLIIIIIIIIIIIIII-


…crap

Well trout. That was not quite what I wanted. Not at all. Arggggghhhhhhhhh! I actually cannot believe I was KO’d in this game. I have so much shame. SO MUCH SHAME.

So we’re brought to this random woman’s shop when we’re KO’d. Harry just drinks the stuff she gives him. He has been part of this magical world for about 30 minutes, and he’s just running around drinking free stuff from any old person. Harry is not long for this world.

Delicious green goop

Well, to try and save Harry from his impending doom, I decide to use some of those sickles gained from fighting bats and rats to equip Harry with some better gear.

Ain’t no rats gonna kill me this time

I make my way back through the Gringotts vault and back to the giant blob rat. With my super charged protected Harry, nothing will be KO-ing me this time.

Take that, you dick

After defeating that totally difficult boss that nobody would ever be able to defeat in one go, we can press on to the end of the vaults. Lucky Hagrid and Griphook waited for me outside the vault.

Shouldn’t have dawdled… Why I oughta…

Thanks Hagrid. You knew you left Harry behind yet you just laughed and walked away anyway. “Look a’ all these vicious beasts! Harry can take ‘em.” Ugh, what is his deal.

Into the vault! So many piles of gold and silver and rubies and jewels, I can’t wait to get enough money to last me forever!

Or not.

Just as an FYI – I used up all this money before moving on with the game. How was this supposed to support Harry over his whole first year if it barely covered his initial shopping trip!? Nevermind, I'm sure finding sickles from rats will get Harry through life.

We get another congratulations screen, for some reason:

Awwwww yeah! Dead family gold!

Time to go wander around Diagon Alley and buy up all the school supplies. Luckily Hagrid stopped laughing at me long enough to hand over the list of things.

What an interesting list. Yes indeed.

In Madam Malkin’s Robe Shop, we run into everyone’s favourite Slytherin ragamuffin – Draco Malfoy! He looks menacing as ever.

I like his green top.

He seems nice. I am sure we will be best friends 5eva.

Shopping done, and I have a full inventory of equipped items.

Check ‘em

Hagrid said to meet him outside Gringotts after I have spent every last sickle. Walking up to him, he says that he has a surprise for me. I wonder what it could be!?

Apparently it is an owl. I am sceptical.

Hagrid tells us that we need to get to the train station right now because the train is going to leave soon! There is no indication that Hagrid escorted Harry anywhere – I like to imagine that he just went to the Leaky Cauldron and got drunk, leaving Harry to find his own way to Platform 9¾ .

Time to get ma learnin’ on!

TO BE CONTINUED.

[Jinx]

Shauna, this is great. Seriously, I LOL'd for a real a few times.

First thought, I didn't realize this game was turn-based. The game I played was action.

Second, wtf is a name tag pack? Why does he need them? I don't remember this from the books?

Third, does Draco have a smurfing mullet?

[Shauna]

1) There are many different Harry Potter games. I played a few on the PS1 and they were action packed.

2) I dunno. More excuses to spend all those millions of sickles.

3) Yes. His character is very much business in the front, party in the back.

[Scotty_ffgamer]

I think I played the GBA Sorcerer's Stone game because the one I played wasn't a turn based game. I always forget which one is which. I think I did acquire this game for free, though. I might have to play it sometime.

[Jinx]

Yeah, my CoS was GBA!

Can't wait for more, Shauna. I knew you were worth a chuckle, but you're proving yourself pretty damn hilarious.

[Shauna]

It's my secret hidden talent. I actually can be quite an amusing person when I want to be.

[Miss Mae]

This is hilarious. I look forward to the next instalment.

[Ayen]

Oh sweet Jesus, these games. I never played the GBC version (I only played the PlayStation and GameCube ones) but I know enough about it already. These games are just I don't know, man. They make Hermione a blond in the first game and the Hufflepuff colors purple and black. Draco is coming at me with fire crackers! WTF?!

[Bubba]

OK, so this thread has gotten the new Let's Play Forum off to a flier. What I am reading pleases me greatly and I look forward to the next instalment

Can't wait to see how well Dumbledore and Snape are represented!

EDIT: Also, that owl is the creepiest smurfing thing I've ever seen.