Peeves is channeling the Joker.
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Peeves is channeling the Joker.
Whoops I was going to get this updated today on my day off work, but I guess I got distracted by other things. I'll get it up tomorrow, I have it all pretty much ready, just need to insert some pictures. :3
Some time passes…
Harry wakes up in the morning, feeling like P Diddy.
That feeling is quickly gone (I assume that feeling like P Diddy is a positive experience), as we discover that he has potions class first.
Why do you have to ruin my life, Ron?
Ugh, Snape is the worst. Best get a move on.
Once again my peers are worthless at helping me find where I am supposed to go. Luckily, I bump into the friendly and helpful caretaker, the one and only Argus Filch!
What a kind and helpful man.
Of course this game makes the most unlikeable dick the only person who actually helps. Of course.
Into the dungeons! Excellent artwork is kept down here, I admire as it passes by.
Is that… Harry? Weird.
In the classroom, I have a quick chat to Hermione, who has bizarre priorities.
Wow. I don’t care, Hermione. God.
Snape tells us to quiet down and get to work, however it pans over to Neville being incompetent…
BOOM.
What will we do to save him? Make some fun potions? Do some lame/awesome mixing minigame?!
Lolno
Time to be sent on a fetch quest, I guess! *fanfare*
I better not take too long then, don’t want to be losing house points. I already lost one for being late…
We are still winning somehow.
Anyway. Time to search the castle high and low for these items.
Luckily the first one doesn’t take too long. It was found on a big picture of a snake in Snape’s office. Because of course he has a big picture of a snake on his wall.
I am sure the rest of them will be this easy to find.
Harry’s insight certainly is something.
Can anyone confirm or deny this? I don’t actually know.
Well, Snape says that Hagrid might know where I can find the other things. Better go out and find him. To the outside world!
Welcome to Hogwarts! …Grounds!
All the grounds like this. It is bland and uninteresting and all the grass looks the same. Oh well. I wander over the fields and come up to Hagrid’s hut.
What a lazy arse. Does he not understand that Neville needs medical attention!? Which is why he’s not been taken to the Hospital wing?!
Best be looking for those beetle eyes.
Beetle “eyes”
Right. That’s what they call them. I find one more… pair in some other bushes.
Hagrid also mentioned that I can find some snakes outside the greenhouses. I head on up to them, and spot Professor Sprout standing outside.
Heterochromia. Interesting. Also crosseyes.
Seems that I have to battle my way through some snakes to get their fangs. In this situation, I discover that great status ailment poison.
JESUS CHRIST
Freaking 20HP. That’s… more than 10% of my total HP! And with every subsequent poison attack the HP I lose increases by 10. I actually died here because I was losing 40HP a turn. Absolute nonsense.
Take that, snakes.
That’s me gotten everything required. I head back to Snape and he is Snape-like in his thanking me for getting the materials together. He deducts more house points, in fact. What a dick.
Is he tightrope walking? So bizarre.
Right, so that’s potions class. I am given a class list, and next up is Transfiguration. Now, I may have alluded to this in my previous update, but I genuinely have no idea where I am going within Hogwarts. There’s little indication from anyone except maybe one person on each floor as to where each class is. There’s not actually any set order to how you complete your class list, so there’s no way for me to ask around either. I spend too long looking for this classroom, and all the rest of them too.
Anyway. To Prof McG. I enter the room and there has been a disaster!
Stop the presses! Not a rabbit?!
Only Harry can solve this problem! He is sent away to find the rabbit. I don’t know what is going on any longer.
So, I am being left to once again wander round the castle aimlessly. Okay. I bump into Dumbledore just outside – he comments on whether he’d seen the rabbit or not.
Thanks for that, sir.
I also bump into Percy who makes an excellent comment on my state of schooling.
To be completely honest, I have to agree with Percy here.
He also mentions it ran past outside. Oh god. The grounds. It could be anywhere. I’ll be out here for hours. OH GOD!
Two steps outside the castle. I was deeply concerned for a moment there.
Nope, I find it almost immediately.
What a cutie.
Back up to McGonagall, who thanks Harry for being such a great guy.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
-aaaaaaaaaassssssss-
-ssssssssssssssssssssssss
Yes, quite, the threat of a purple rabbit. Such terrible things happening in Hogwarts. Whatever next.
Right, time to have another look at the class list.
Not too bad. I am especially excited for Broom Flight Class.
“Defence Against Dark Art”. Sounds pretty deep.
Regardless it is time for Herbology. I head over to the greenhouses and sit down next to Ron, who immediately begins complaining about Hermione.
What a bitch. Knowing things.
Professor Sprout explains about herbs. There are lots of them. They are used in potion brewing. Sounds like it could be a useful thing. I am looking forward to learning about them! Wouldn’t you say so, Hermione?
You tell ‘er, Ron.
They’re really pushing for Hermione to be awful.
So, in this part. I need to wander round the grounds and find 6 herbs. Before I get started, I bump into Dumbledore again. I don’t know why he’s stalking Harry so bad, but he always has something useful to say.
Thanks again sir. Er, do you not have… headmastery type duties to be doing…?
Taking his advice I spend the better part of half an hour looking for the items.
One…
Two…
Three…
Four…
Wait, when did I get aconite?
Uh… Six!
Good god that was miserable. You will note how none of the above places I found the herbs had any real indication that they were hiding anything. That does not make it easy to find them.
Before I head back to Professor Sprout, I pop in to see Hagrid. He comments on dittany…
Right. Okay. Crazy Hagrid, always talking about dragons…
Ignoring that slip of the tongue, back to the greenhouses. Professor Sprout comments on how great Harry is for finishing his collections first.
Haha, screw you, Hermione!
She also sends me back to see Snape for the prize for finishing the collections first – some potion recipes!
Such angry behaviour. I wonder why he hates Harry so much…
I can now make Antidotes and Wiggenweld Potions. The antidotes would have been more useful earlier. Well, they would have been if I could actually make any – the recipes for these are damn awful for needing hundreds of items I don’t have.
Laurels, eh? I get the feeling these are trying to be humorous…
Onto Charms class! Once again, Ron and Hermione have a run in.
lol
I will admit. I legitimately laughed at this. I chalk it up to insanity.
To learn Wingardium Leviosaaaaaaaa, I need to do a simple simon-says sort of game. I do it with no issues, of course. Professor Flitwick commends my efforts.
And so does Hermione!
She’s damn right she couldn’t have done as well as me. And so I learn the levitation spell – I’m sure there will be plenty of use for this in the future.
leviosahhhhhh
I take back that previous comment, this one isn’t trying to be funny.
I decide to head to DEFENSE AGAINST DARK ART next, surely this will be a super fun class.
HONK.
Loljk Peeves curses Harry outside the classroom and he is slowly losing SP with every step. Professor Quirrell is helpful in this dreadfully serious situation.
He is… shifty looking.
He sends Harry on a quest to uncurse himself. Seriously? This kid has been to three classes. Telling him to uncurse himself?! What is Quirrell thinking?!
Once again, I am thrown out into the corridor with no idea of where to even begin. Luckily Dumbledore is floating around again.
Seriously, sir, do you not have work you need to do, or…?
To the library!
*an hour later*
I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE LIBRARY IS.
Eventually I come across it. It was directly opposite the DADA class. Of course.
Madam Pince knows what book has the counter-curse in it!
And you just let it go missing? What a useless magical librarian.
So, who has it?!
Hmm, imagine a reward not working for the library. Not everyone is Hermione or Percy, Madam Pince
…So what now? What am I supposed to do?!
I leave the library in a rage and Peeves comes along and gives me more hints!
The Joker, Psy? No. Peeves is The Riddler.
Hermione! Right?! She’s a Muggle born! She loves books! She has to have it! I race back to the DADA class and… Hermione does not have it. Actually what am I supposed to do. I spend so long wandering around the castle that I run out of SP twice. Luckily for me, Madam Pomfrey is in the infirmary.
…wait a second! Maybe she can help!
Thanks person who is supposed to deal with inflictions on students.
…sigh.
In this time wandering around, I find the elusive Wizard Card club. It’s… not very exciting. Fred and George spend their days in here, selling stuff.
Expensive stuff.
I also get a bunch of cards from the loser who gave me the starter packs in Diagon Alley.
What a TCG nerd, trying to be helpful lol.
There’s also a fun Pairs game that I can play!
I quite enjoyed matching up Gregory the Smarmy with… uh… someone else.
…For no prize.
This place actually has a feature that allows you to trade via GBC link cables! So you can trade wizard cards with your friends. If only I had a GBC link cable. Or friends. Whatever, I still think it is a fairly cool addition.
After wasting more time, I actually could not take it any longer. I was completely lost. I kept being sent back to the infirmary. I had to look up the answer. I went to GameFAQs (there is more than one FAQ for this game). I found out what I was supposed to do.
The muggle studies class.
…
…
…
I find my way there with the help of the guide. Peeves laughs at me some more and tells me to check out the television.
No time for laughter. Too busy crying.
Woah what.
Yes, the television was a portal to another world-class. And as you can see, there’s a boss crawling around in here. A few Flipendos clear him out, and I get my prize for finding the counter-curse that the boss was apparently holding.
What do you even need with the counter-curse for the curse of the bogies?!
Thank the lord.
Creative spell name. Well done.
This spell can never be used again, I don’t think. It’s not something I can use in battles anyway.
So I traipse back to the DADA class. Dumbledore, or should I say, Stalkerdore… Dumblestalk… Oh, I don’t know I am too exhausted from this ordeal.
Look, just go away, okay?
No, I am feeling worse thank you.
Quirrell makes it all worth it though!
House points!
Look at Gryffidor go! The House Cup is mine!
Just in case anyone (nobody) cares: The book was returned to the library, safe and sound.
Damn right I have thwarted Peeves, and the castle and every stupid classroom. I have come out victorious from this terrible plight.
Only two more classes left to go. But that’s for another day. I think I need a drink.
Right, well I'm gonna come out and say it... Professor Sprout is a lot hotter in this game than she is in the films. I even think her goggly eyes are just cute.
I think it is safe to assume that whenever Harry does ANYTHING then there will be a new card combination in the Wizard Card Collector's Club.
I dunno man, there might be a time in which there won't be a new card combination. I will screencap the hell out of that time.
In the first shot of the grounds, the dark spot in front of Harry makes it look as if he's floating.
Originally Posted by Fynn
Surely you don't expect people at Hogwarts to know where classes are and whatnot. Surely.[/Sarcasm]
Those hourglasses are all wrong.
Wait, is that Lucy and Desi in the Muggle Studies?
Dumblestalk is the highlight here I think. I genuinely laughed when I saw that.
A boomslang is indeed a snake.
(SPOILER)
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Maybe it would help you deal with Peeves' trout if you place stupid emphasis on his words. I read his sentence as "Maybe some muggles and studying it" and it helped a lot in realising that he was being an arse and speaking in riddles.
~The more you know~
I think I might have picked up on the riddles (not that it would have helped me know where the Muggle Studies class is regardless) if I hadn't been super frustrated at not being able to find anything, with my health slowly dwindling down. Wandering around looking for other classes isn't nearly as frustrating when I am not being sent to the hospital wing every 2 minutes.
Yes I can't say I remember the part of the books where Harry wanders around aimlessly looking for classrooms in no particular order with nobody offering him any guidance whatsoever and everybody being perfectly okay with him becoming poisoned and/or cursed and slowly dying.
Like, Albus Dumbledore is RIGHT THERE. He's supposed to be the greatest wizard of ALL TIME. Are you really telling me he can't just remove this honking curse for me?
Nah, Harry's gotta grow as a wizard. How will he ever learn if he doesn't get lost wandering around the castle before he's even attended his first week of classes looking for a cure for his own curses?
Madam Pomfrey can regrow bones, but to cure a sniffle? Cannot be done.
I am just waiting for old Voldie to be a complete joke.
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