There has been an outbreak of Potter fever around these parts recently (can you tell I started this about 2 months ago?), and I have just finished reading The Philosopher’s Stone in my first reread of the whole series since The Deathly Hallows came out. So, I am going to chronicle my thoughts and feelings on each book as we go along because my opinions matter to every single one of you. Breaking it down to its individual parts, and analysing important scenes. It is going to be a magical adventure.
Without further ado, I present:

Shauna Reads Harry Potter!


A terrific book.

We start our story following the everyday lives of Vernon and Petunia Dursley as… we find out that something… odd… has happened. People dressed in… strange clothes... …Zzzz….
…zzzz…




Ugh, nevermind this. Reminds me too much of those English Literature classes I so loathed. Let’s just play some video games instead. These will have as much great quality as the novels themselves, I’m sure. It’s not like video game adaptations of things are bad at any point.





Shauna Plays Harry Potter-Related Video Games!


First up we have a GameBoy Color Entry

This particular iteration of Harry Potter video game plays as an RPG. As you learn more spells, you have more moves to use in battle. Sounds interesting. I like Harry Potter, I like RPGs – where can this go wrong? Let’s boot this bad boy up and experience the magic for myself!


There is an American Language option for those of you who are confused by what a "Philosopher's Stone" is

There is some annoying musical loop playing over this menu (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (GBC) - Main Theme - YouTube). The same little Harry Potter jingle, over and over. That won’t get annoying at any point. No siree. But boom, New Game - take me away to other annoying jingles.


Brief.

Oh hey there little boy who knows nothing about the magical world, have this explanation of one sentence of what’s going on for the rest of your life. I realise the book was just as bad for this, however seeing it written on this letter just emphasises the issue. He deserved more of an explanation, dammit!
Moving on, we start our adventure in Diagon Alley with our friend Hagrid.


Welcome t- Wait a second…


Welp.

Ah the good old days when these were considered decent graphics. Along with that, we are definitely spoiled with Harry Potter when it comes to visual things because of the movies. It’s unfortunate. If I didn’t vaguely picture Robbie Coltrane whenever I thought of Hagrid, I’m sure this little purple guy wouldn’t be as amusing to me. Although, Harry’s little profile picture isn’t nearly as bad, I find.


Almost looks normal.

Crazy profile pictures or not, we’re in Diagon Alley, and Harry has to get his wand. Of course, instead of doing what I’m supposed to, I run around the area stealing things and chatting to the interesting people of the wizarding world. More annoying loops play as I wander around. I will cut it some slack because it is just a GBC game, though.
The first thing I find are some Famous Witches and Wizard Cards! These appear to be some kind of collectable which help out in-game in some way or another. I’m sure I’ll never use it. Of course, these cards are hidden in the usual places…


...inside pots and barrels...


...being held by an owl...? Okay then.

As I mentioned previously, we have some interesting characters in Diagon Alley. They are the usual NPC fare, giving advice, talking nonsense…


Windswept wizard warns me of what lies ahead...


While Hoodzard raves about how great I am

There are a number of shops around the alley, places to buy potions, sweets, equipment such as boots and robes. There’s also a broom shop who turn me away because I am not even a first year yet. Massive dicks. However, once again, I have to bring up the profile pictures. Shortly after leaving Hagrid, I came across this guy:


Good god he has flesh whiskers


This is what truly started my obsession with these odd little pictures. Here is a sampling of what Diagon Alley has to offer.




So beautiful, it makes me cry

Enough of that people watching. Time to go get my wand so I can move on with the game. I head into Ollivander’s and Hagrid immediately bails and tells me he’ll be in Gringotts. Gives me some one on one time with the man himself, Mr Ollivander. He was always a vaguely creepy guy, I hope this translates well to the scre-


Oh.

Well. Okay. Creepy in a different way. He gives me my wand, and tells me that it comes equipped with two spells: Flipendo and Vermillious Uno. Equipping spells, okay. I suppose they’ve got to do what they’ve got to do to make this game work.


I certainly hope you won't be casting any spells, Harry. No magic outside of Hogwarts!

Outside, I am accosted by some nerd kid who wants to talk to me about the Famous Witches and Wizard cards. There appears to be a use for the cards in battle, I guess I'll have a look at that when I get to the battling part. The nerd gives me a starter pack and everything, to start me on my fun journey of Wizard Cards! There was a selection of names I didn’t recognise for the starter packs, so I went with the “Gregory the Smarmy” deck. Harry also comes out with quite a line in regards to cards.


As if the Dursleys would let you have a pack of cards, you might start doing card tricks!

The little guy leaves me alone, and I head to Gringotts to get some cash. After reconvening with Hagrid and meeting up with Griphook, we head into the depths of Gringotts where Harry is an absolute tool.


OH NO I FALL DOWN WAIT

He legitimately stumbles over nothing, leaving me to navigate the same walls of Gringotts to find his vault. Convenient excuse to get Harry on his own, game. God help us all.