hello i am the telephone, help me

[Alive-Cat]

So, EoFF, how do you answer the telephone? Your mobile phone? Do you answer them differently, the same, or do you have a set greeting for each one? What might these be? Tell, tell me.

I rarely answer the phone in the standard way. I always answer my mum's home phone when it rings with 'battersea dog's home, can I help' or even just 'battersea dog's home,' (gives an air of officialness, like I am answering that phone all day every day, I can only be bothered to state the name of the organisation you have just called,) this always shakes people up. A lot of my family are used to it but my nan is old and she gets confused every time. I then have to convince her she has called my mum and I'm her grandson and not Battersea Dog's Home. When it's sales people or my mum's boss, those are golden.

I often wing my greetings with my mobile, sometimes it may be a strange accent, etc, it varies. You have to be creative with this stuff. Keep it progressive.

So, how's things with you and your phone calls?

[Fynn]

Pretty normal. I just answer it. In Polish. Either "Halo?" or "Tak?" or "Słucham?" (sometimes it's "Tak, słucham?", but that's a secret ).

[ScottNUMBERS]

Depends on the caller I.D. Can range from "what?" to "ahoy-hoy".

[Formalhaut]

I have a fear of answering or making phone calls, I honestly cannot stand it. When I must make a phone call, I answer it in the most nervous fashion.

Though if I can, I'll palm off making a call to someone else.

[Scotty_ffgamer]

But who was phone?

Usually I just say "Hello." It depends on if I know who's calling. I'll answer some of my friend's calls with an inside joke. Or in Gollum's voice because why not?

[blackmage_nuke]

I just greet them as I would in real life if I know what who it is. I have different greetings for different people. If I dont know who it is I'll say "hello?"

I was going to make a thread about mobile phones but I'll just tack on a question in this thread

For those of you with touch screen moblies, do you push the phone all the way up against your face? I see people do it on tv and it seems weird to me. I always keep the screen away from my face though I'll angle it so the speaker is up against my hear if I cant hear them.

[Shorty]

"Hi", "Hello", or "Yes?", in overly enthusiastic voices, or "This is Sarah" for numbers I don't recognize.

[Iceglow]

At work it's always the same level "Thank you for calling Amazon" or "Hello" where I've learnt to stifle the sound of being bored to tears of the same greetings by being as flat as possible.

When out of work it depends on the caller id. If it's my best mate or something it'll be "Yes bastard?"

[Shauna]

"Good morning/afternoon/evening, Revenue and Customs"

alternatively in a less work sense

"Hello?"

It's always a question!

[Pumpkin]

I always say Hello and I always sound surprised, even though I have caller ID

[Crop]

"Go for Crop" but instead of 'Crop' I use my real name.

At work I rarely have to answer an outside call, but when I do I kind of just mumble the name of the company and ask how I can help. We're supposed to say it in English and Welsh or we could get fined by the Welsh Government apparently, but I rarely do.

[Jess]

Hello?

Always.

[Alive-Cat]

I encourage you all to live life on the wild side and answer in an alternative fashion, especially if it's an unknown number.

This only backfired on me once years ago when I'd applied for some jobs and I answered ridiculously, only to realise it was one of them. They didn't know what to make of it. I tried to pretend like nothing happened. They played along for the duration of the call, but never contacted me again.

I'm content in my job for the time being and nobody really EVER calls me in an official capacity so I'm free to enjoy the wonders of having fun with telephones

[Dat Matt]

"Hello, Matt Speaking" Regardless of if it's work or personal.

I get more calls that I'll actually answer these days at work and people are passed through a switchboard to my department so know it's me they want to speak to. Back in previous work places I would answer "Priceless Shoes, Argyll Street. Matt Speaking, how may I help?". It was a direct line so our manager encouraged more info rather than just "Hello". I speak to a very small pool of people on a regular basis so they usually know who they're talking to.

[theundeadhero]

I always say hello in a skeptical way, like I have no idea who is calling me or even what this crazy contraption that you can talk into is.