Massages

[Miriel]

Did you get a Thai massage?? At medium?!

I will never ever get a Thai massage. No thanks! But I adore relaxing massages. Swedish is nice, but my absolute favorite is the Hawaiian Lomilomi. Relaxing as smurf. Ahhhhhh.

I had a pregnancy massage too, but that wasn't as nice since you know, there's a giant belly in the way. I try and get a massage every couple months. It really is one of my most favorite things in the whole world. Love it.

[Shauna]

My sister is a beauty therapist, so I've had one or two massages in my time.

[Rantz]

I had no idea "Swedish massage" was a thing before this thread, true fax.

[Alive-Cat]

I assume there is a massage for every country, right?

[Pumpkin]

I'm not sure what a Canadian massage would be. Maybe we just rub maple syrup on you while apologizing

[Shauna]

A Scottish massage would be potentially lifethreatening. And there will probably be some kind of deep-frying involved.

[Jiro]

I've had to get a fair few massages in my time. No medium nonsense here; 100% try to cause you as much agony as possible to relieve the tension. I am fortunate to have a high pain tolerance.

[Christmas]

An American massage would start out with rubbing you down with lard and then kneading you with our AK-47s.

I am migrating to USA now.

But replace the AK-47 with a Bazooka though, that gun is too small for my taste.

[Colonel Angus]

An American massage would start out with rubbing you down with lard and then kneading you with our AK-47s.

I am migrating to USA now.

But replace the AK-47 with a Bazooka though, that gun is too small for my taste.

What do you think this is, Serbia?

[Alive-Cat]

Girlyfriends have made me give them massages in the past and apparently it's like being caressed by a troll or something, I have two modes and normal is just so rough and me trying to be mild is just silly. One day I'll learn!

[Jiro]

I can practice with you, Alive-Man, until you have perfected it

[chionos]

An American massage would start out with rubbing you down with lard and then kneading you with our AK-47s.

You say this as a joke, but I bet you a bajillion real dollars there's a video of a Russian doing exactly this somewhere on the internet.

[Colonel Angus]

An American massage would start out with rubbing you down with lard and then kneading you with our AK-47s.

You say this as a joke, but I bet you a bajillion real dollars there's a video of a Russian doing exactly this somewhere on the internet.

I don't think she realized she picked a Russian gun.

[fire_of_avalon]

I don't really like people I don't know touching me, so I would probably be more tense after a professional massage.

[Calliope]

I was very uncomfortable the first times I had acupuncture or massage, but it's amazing what one will do if they are in enough pain. I currently get a massage every week/fortnight. My masseuse uses trigger point therapy, and our sessions are an hour long and range from "uncomfortable" to "excruciating pain that I wouldn't wish upon anyone". I think the worst was the time when she pressed under my shoulderblade, causing knife-like pain in my shoulder while my hand/lower arm suddenly lost all feeling at the same time. My range of motion and overall pain levels improve after our sessions, I just wish I could find a more permanent or affordable solution.