Assassin's Creed II
Action/Adventure/Open World
Steam Link

Assassin's Creed is an interesting series for me. On the one side, I've poured quite a bit of time into the games because they're pretty fun. On the other hand, they never quite grabbed me enough to make me one of those superfans. And despite all the time I've spent on the games, I've never actually beaten an Assassin's Creed game. So my relationship with the series is kind of interesting.

Anyways, enough banter! Let's play this thing!

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AWWW YEAH LOOK AT THIS AMAZING ACTION

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JEAH LOOK AT THESE INSANE GRAPHICS

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Okay time to actually get this thing started.

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PRESS A TO TAKE A trout

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PRESS B TO THROW UP ON YOUR DAD'S SHOULDER



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Desmond Miles, asking the important questions.

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Now we have this Bri'ish man who happens to be a bit of a dickhead. I asked Huxley for the most British insult he can think of so I can refer to him as such, and he said "a gormless ponce". (He also helpfully suggested "tosser", "wanker", "git", "pillock", "plonker", "muppet", "bellend", "knobhead", "arsehole", "berk", "divot", "pikey", "prat", "tosspot", "uphill gardener", and "billy no-mates")

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Finally I get to jack in to the AssCreed Matrix and be Ezio, which is pretty awesome. I beat up like twenty guys and then went around and looted them while they were all curled up in the fetal positions crying.

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Feels good to be hot and also have a hot brother.

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Why are plague doctors so awesome?

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Oh hey, the game is finally officially starting!

I did a couple of quests, one of which involved meeting some chick and promptly pressing A to and pressing B to . Later I looked her up in my database and promptly LOL'd.

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Because I am a turbonerd.

I was having fun and wanted to keep playing but it's just about my bedtime, so maybe more tomorrow!

THE VERDICT:

  • You'll probably already know if you like this game or not
  • It's the most popular Assassin's Creed game and arguably the best
  • (although personally IV is my fave)
  • Parkour, stealth, be Italian
  • The works