Airline Tycoon II
Simulation/Management/Economy
Steam Link

Things started out bad when I had to sign up some sort of account with my email in order to play the damn game. Honestly, were it not for this thread and my resolve to play every game I own, I probably wouldn't have bothered with it.

Then things promptly got worse when I saw the horrifying graphics, which primarily revolved around various stereotypes lovingly rendered by the original PlayStation or something.

airport 1.jpg

I opted to go with Buttchin, because he appeared to be the least offensive option.

He also has a whole backstory where he is Citizen Kane or something.

airport 2.jpg

And apparently his phone is the Eye of Sauron.

airport 3.jpg

I proceeded to pay a visit to Albert Einstein. This is where I made the rather horrifying realization that nobody in this world has a neck.

airport 4.jpg

Anyways, here you can mess with all the parts of your airplane, Kerbal Space Program style.

You can also customize the interior, which begins by looking like a submarine manned by this rather flamboyant fellow.

airport 5.jpg

After this you get to customize the livery of your plane. You can pick from any color of the rainbow (the best part), and then add ridiculous logos like biohazard signs if you want because why not.

airport 6.jpg

Ultimately I went for a nice teal color with green trim, which makes it look like the official plane for the Seattle Seahawks or something.

airport 7.jpg

At this point I have to go talk to the manager of the airport, who I guess is actually Don Corleone. The Don lets me set up a route so now my airplane can go from Hamburg to Heathrow and back (this game is made by the Germans if you haven't figured that out)

airport 8.jpg

Finally things start to get interesting. I can set up a schedule for my plane, so it can depart Heathrow at 9am, sit around in Germany for maintenance, and then head on back in the afternoon. So what can you do inbetween flights?

WATCH YOUR PLANE FLY THROUGH THE SKY

JUST LOOK AT THESE SICK GRAPHICS

airport 10.jpg

Alternatively you can walk around the airport. One perk of being a 1%er: I can stroll in and out of security whenever I want to:

airport 9.jpg

Or you can go chat with the Don again

airport 11.jpg

At this point the tutorial finished and it kicked me out into the real game, which I guess is the exact same thing except that a.) you have to start from scratch and b.) you're competing against other 1%ers. I decided I didn't feel like making my fancy airplanes and routes all over again so I called it good for now.

Honestly considering that this has like a 90% "negative" score on Steam it was considerably more fun than what I was expecting. It's ridiculous and absurd, but I could actually see myself playing this for a few hours if I feel like being grognardy with things like load factors and buying airplane components.

THE VERDICT

  • Incredibly ridiculous
  • German
  • Surprisingly spreadsheety
  • Not really sure who the audience is?
  • I think it's too dense for most gamers but not "serious" enough for sim fans
  • Maybe pick it up in a Humble Bundle
  • ~stereotypes~