Pike Plays Literally Every Game on Her Steam List (Current Game: Blood Bowl)

[Pike]

Alan Wake
Action/Adventure/Survival/Horror
Steam Link

Note: Probably spoilers.

So as Mister Adequate told me as I loaded up this game, "Basically someone turned a Stephen King novel into a video game." And you know, I can see where he's coming from with that pretty much immediately, as the first five minutes of the game involved being chased by some creepy homeless guy who wants to chop me into little pieces. Once you get to relative safety, things don't let up, as you can probably tell by this screenshot:

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Oh boy! I can't wait to die, die, die, die, die!

Fortunately the voice of god arrives and gives me a flashlight and a gun.

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To kill creepy ghost zombie things you have to use both. Flashlights, as it turns out, are pretty deadly.

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OH HEY JUST KIDDING IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM! You're actually on a rinky dink ferry boat in rinky dink Washington (at least I would assume, judging by the license plates and scenery)

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"Honey, I think you should stop playing those scary zombie games before bed every night."

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Oh cool, I'm a famous writer. Gee, that must feel nice.

My wife has some errands for me to run. Scary places abound, even if you just want to use the bathroom.

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"Aww man, I just gotta take a dump."

Later we head to some cabin we rented, which it turns out is (*gasp*), also incredibly dark and spooky.

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My wife and I promptly get in a big fight. I'm going to presume it's because she promised me a "big surprise upstairs" and then, after showing herself off in nothing but her underwear, she told me that she is not actually the surprise and that she got me a typewriter. Since I am a man and I was actually hoping for some action, I storm off into the super eerie and not at all pleasant woods, which is clearly a great idea.

The joke is on me, because the next thing I know... ... ...? ....??.... .. ...I don't know but it involves my wife screaming and me suddenly being somewhere else entirely, and my car falling off a cliff.

I spent the next hour or so wandering around the forest, shooting people with my flashlight, and running into an unusually high number of old abandoned logging camps.

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Seriously, I found like three all within about half a mile of each other.

The goal at this point is to get to a rickety and not at all shady gas station in the distance, and frankly I would have kept playing until I got there except that I'm not feeling great right now and I kind of think the game was starting to give me motion sickness or something, compounding my current head cold.

I leave you with PRODUCT PLACEMENT!!

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(Next up I'll have to fight spooky ghost Energizer Bunny).

THE VERDICT:

• Spooky scary skeletons
• not 100% sure what is going on, story-wise
• movement feels kind of floaty, I liked it better with a controller though
• Actually pretty fun when you start playing
• You'll want to keep going to see what happens next
• Great for horror fans or people who like spooky atmospheric games
• Kind of gave me Walking Dead vibes
• I like it so far
• ~2spooky~