How often would you kick a cat if every time you kicked it, it pooped out a diamond?

[krissy]

sixty nine times

[Quindiana Jones]

Small kicks for small diamonds would be fine. I don't want to look like a criminal.

[Sephex]

Name the cat Pink Floyd. Kick it. Say, "Shine on you crazy diamond." Become jokester of the year.

[krissy]

air kick the cat and name it lucy

lucy in the sky with diamonds?

[Sephex]

That could backfire because a cat named Lucy wI'll try to dodge you and make you look like Charlie Brown.

[escobert]

Is it my kitty or a random kitty?

[blackmage_nuke]

If this cat is making matter from nothing first I'd have to build particle and energy detectors to observe how the diamonds are entering our universe and hopefully use this information to develop wormholes or at the very least use it's to create some kind of perpetual motion machine whereby the cat is kept at a high altitude, a wheel of boots is spun to kick it and the diamonds drop onto a turbine which powers the wheel. (assuming that the cat requires a regular diet)

The cat would be heavily sedated and hopefully we could clone or breed it to get several cats going.

If this will be the only cat ever that will do this we will need to observe it's ability to compress matter into a diamond biologically without enourmous amounts of energy so we might be able to reproduce it. We can only do that by kicking it.

[Loony BoB]

nuke: I'm gonna go with 'magic'.

[blackmage_nuke]

Well then at the very least I hope I can produce enough diamonds with my perpetual cat kicking machine to kill the whole engagement ring business/scam as well as hopefully destroying trade of blood diamonds and sparing some human lives for the suffering of a cat.

[Quindiana Jones]

nuke: I'm gonna go with 'magic'.

If you'd've told me this was a farce from the get go, then I wouldn't have bloody bothered.

[Loony BoB]

How dare you say magic is a farce. I've seen it in video games therefore it must be real.

[Bubba]

I love how detailed nuke's thought process is.