How often would you kick a cat if every time you kicked it, it pooped out a diamond?
This is a legitimate conversation that popped up today at work. Well, a guy got hurt and said every time he does a certain movement he makes a sound like an injured cat crapping out a diamond, and it all went from there.
Regardlesss, how often would you kick a cat if every time you kicked it, it pooped out a diamond?
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
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None
Reminds me of this:
Now how hard are we talking for a kick in order for a diamond to be produced? If it did no lasting damage then I'd be tempted to say quite a few times.
Also, it would depend entirely on the quality of the diamond. If we are talking mega-bucks blood diamond standard then that cat would take a licking as I'd just keep on kicking.
If it's a specific cat that exclusively has this ability and I own the cat and nobody else knows about the ability, a lot. If, like, every cat pooped out a diamond when kicked, then I guarantee the value of diamonds will plummet to slightly below the value of belly button fluff within three hours of the discovery of such a phenomenon. In such a case, never. Unless it was a cat I disliked.
We're talking bruising here, but just shy of breaking bones kicking. And yes, high quality diamonds, blood diamond standard. The harder you kick, the bigger the diamond. We're getting to broken bones if you're not careful, and you don't want a dead diamond-pooping cat, so you'll have to be very careful with how you manage that, should you opt to get kicking. And it is only this cat that has this ability. It's a rather unique cat.
EDIT: A brief discussion with my colleagues and I've now edited this to include the idea that harder kicks will produce bigger diamonds.
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
You would need to measure the kicks quite carefully then. I mean damn, if I don't get a blood diamond every time then I'll be upset.
Also, what kind of temperament does this cat have? Is it a cat that doesn't mind being kicked pretty hard or does it cower and squeal in pain? If it's the latter then the guilt factor could play a big part.
Also, can we provide the cat with padding to minimise damage yet still have maximum productivity?
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Only if it's Cat Deeley.
there was a picture here
Code for "I made this up just now and thought it'd be a great troll."Originally Posted by Loony BoB
This can easily be rectified by wearing padding yourself. I'm guessing we wouldn't need to be constantly kicking this cat so we wouldn't need to wear protection all the time. Still, a blood diamond would enable you to buy the highest quality padding for both you and the cat.
Don't forget that an angry, mean cat might attack you if you kick it. I mean, getting a blood diamond might be worth some bites and scratches, but it's still a deterrent.
I would definitely treat the cat with comfortable housing, lots of gifts, plenty of grooming, other whore cats so it could satisfy its desires. It would just be that 1% of the time where it gets a bit of a kicking to put up with. This maybe slightly confusing for the cat but at least it lives the life of riley for the rest of the time. Most cats would give their right paw for this lifestyle.
Also, does the cat poop normally all the rest of the time?
Diamonds are a dime a dozen these days. I'd rather go to the Crater of Diamonds state park; would be more fun and less guilt-inducing than kicking a cat!
Poor cat wouldn't make it past two minutes of me discovering it's possibilities I am afraid.
No times, I like cats.
However, life with cats does mean you occasionally walk into them in the dark, so I'd probably still make some money.
No thanks. Gold is easier to sell and I don't really like dogs.
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