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Thread: Let's Harry Potter Games Part 3

  1. #31
    Sh♥tposter Extraordinaire Jinx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubba View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jinx View Post
    more like double chin
    God yeah... Hermione needs to cut back on those pumpkin pasties.
    You know, in Year Four she starts starving herself because of the "house elf rights". Probably more like "got a good look in the mirror and my school skirt doesn't fit rights".

  2. #32
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    He does look a bit like Patrick Swayze. But then, he probably looks like many things, and the pixels just leave it to your imagination.

    Also, I don't think that's lipstick. It just kind of looks like her mouth is bleeding all over her non-chin.

  3. #33
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    To Hogwarts!

    Ah, the Hogwarts Express, here to take us to where our dreams all do come true. If our dreams include almost being killed by a whole multitude of things. The joys!

    But yes, we really ought to go find a seat.

    It’s a little bit ginger in here…

    Ah, the Weasleys. It looks like the whole team is here! Including everyone’s favourite: Percy. Why is he here instead of with his prissy girlfriend?

    Maybe he just wants to look out for his weird flat-faced sister

    At no point do they tell you which Gred or Feorge is which. I suppose it won’t matter in the long run, because I am 100% sure that they will have no input on the story.

    Apparently they don’t want to sit with the Dream Team. I don’t know why they wouldn’t, and I am slightly offended that they shun us so. Well, who needs them anyway!

    To the next compartment!

    Looks like someone has been borrowing Hermione’s lipstick…

    Oh, it’s the Slytherins. Crabbe’s vacant stare… Horrifying. Let’s take a closer look.

    Draco’s had a bit of work done, I think!

    Unsurprisingly, there’s no room in here for Gryffindors. Not that they had much banter anyway – lots of scoffing and mudblood-ing. Best move on.

    The next compartment is nice and quiet and empty.

    Except for Prof Weird Nose here

    Our team just stand and stare at the man. Although, who can blame them… I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes of his face either.

    I guess she’s been reading Hogwarts: A Future.

    Thank goodness for our unending fount of knowledge, who cannot cast basic unlocking charms.

    Why, his nose is perfectly normal from this angle!

    Somehow the three of them haven’t managed to wake the guy up yet. They also don’t consider it odd that a professor is travelling on the student transport. They just accept Hermione’s explanation and move on.

    Luckily, there’s a distraction!

    Why’s the rum gone?

    Of course, Harry the Hero has to go investigate. Why can he just not stay put for once?

    Outside the compartment, we run into another familiar face.

    There’s a single white pixel that implies he has buck-teeth. You know who it is from that alone!

    What do you want, Neville? You only ever talk to me when you’ve lost your dumb pet, or…

    smurf off mate

    No. Go to the baggage car yourself. You’re a big boy, you can look after yourself.

    That’s not… I don’t…

    Ugh, fine. I’ll go find your stupid toad. But let me tell you this, boyo – I won’t be doing this again.

    And so, the trio start their investigation of the rest of the train. Here are some highlights!

    I call this one the minority compartment

    I don’t think it was intentional that it ended up this way… but… All of these guys locked up in the one compartment…

    The ginger totally counts


    Anyway, here’s the rest of the students that were peppered around the rest of the train.

    I saw multiples of the top two, with different hair colours. Even the students get palette swapped!

    The portraits aren’t too bad, in all honesty. I like the amount of detail they have put in many of them. That’s about the best compliment I can give.

    As I approach the baggage cart…


    The lights mysteriously go out! This isn’t good. I better get Neville’s stupid toad and get back before we trip over some Slytherins or something.

    I take a single step into the baggage cart…

    Neville, mate, you could have got this thing by yourself. He’s practically hanging out at the doorway

    UGH. So much work. Right let’s grab the little… well… toad…

    What was that?!

    A sudden chill filled the carriage, and Harry was knocked out.

    Don’t worry Harry, the foetal position always works

    Ron and Hermione have to work quick to do… something?

    Honestly, what am I supposed to do? The Dementors are coming… We know nothing about fending them off…


    And so it did.

    A whole 10 EXP!

    This thing started flashing after a bit – indicating that I had to Fliiiiiiiiiiipendo it to lock the carriage doors. Why the hell these doors aren’t closed to begin with… I don’t know.

    But with the doors locked, Harry is now safe from harm


    The dementor kicks (?) down the door. I mean, the door shattered into a million pieces. Maybe the Dementor’s Kiss works on solid objects.

    I think that’s the end for our heroes. It’s been a short ride, but we did what we could…

    Professor Big Nose!

    We’re saved! He doesn’t cast any magic, just tells the thing to piss off. And the dementor was all “Aye, alright, I guess. I’ll catch you later” and floats off. What a man.

    He is trained in the same deductive reasoning as Hermione

    So, it’s a dementor, eh? So what exactly is a dementor? Oh! It’s from Azkaban. Right. That doesn’t help much, to be honest. Can you… tell us a bit more…?

    Nope, alright then. Let’s just get going.

    Why does Hermione need to do this? Why can’t the conductor just get the train going again? What is Lupin going to do for this period?

    …Probably go back to sleep.

    Here we are, left with another choice.

    I did promise to utilise Won-Won…

    Here we go. Ron has nothing equipped. I have nothing to equip to him. The bracelets! Why won’t you wear the bracelets?! Oh god help me.

    The battles… the battles…


    Ron has the exact same spells as Harry in battle. Except he doesn’t have any duo spells, which leaves me at a real disadvantage.


    I think Ron’s image here is the most haunting of them all. I think it’s the lack of face. Harry and Hermione had… features, I guess? He’s just… a matchstick.

    Pepperup Potion, you say?

    Unfortunately Pepperup Potion is not what I need. These battles have left me scarred. I need… I need… Wiggenweld…

    Look at that health, man. That’s… one battle!

    This is not going to go well. I heal up, using two of my four potions. Time to press on.


    I am crying here. This is actually going horrifically… I keep using Wiggenwelds…

    Why are you on this train, snake?! WHY?

    Heart palpitations when going into this battle, honestly. What is a snake even doing here?!

    Harry, please, wake up and tell his guy to go away.

    The snake’s friend is another brown recluse spider…

    Uh… alright...

    This guy got a different picture from the rest of them. So weird.

    This distracted me for a while. Until I had to… I had to… oh god just…

    ”Dungeon” two, guys.

    I AM CRYING HERE. I don’t know how this could possibly go any worse.

    … It doesn’t even…

    Not even a full heal. THE GRAND WIGGENWELD IS USELESS.


    I’ve got nothing left…

    Scraping my way through the battles…

    And still not a level to show for it

    …Ron finally reaches his destination.


    But hold on a second.

    Students aren’t allowed in the baggage car.

    But. BUT.

    To get food from the buffet car, they need to go through the baggage car?


    So much outrage. Look. Just give me some chocolate, woman. I can’t… deal with this.

    HOW MUCH!?

    I swear I am being ripped off. Fine. I don’t care.

    I just… need to rest or something. Let’s go back to Harry and finish this up.

    Back through the baggage car with us!


    Chocolate: Dangerous Business

    I guess they force feed Harry some chocolate somehow, since he’s unconscious and all, but it seems to work and he wakes up.

    It was probably Ron, to be honest. He got a beating.

    After a moment of stony silence, with nobody sure what to say in answer to this question, a disembodied voice floats through the train.

    Thank god

    We made it to Hogwarts in one piece. Part of me… honestly wasn’t sure if I was going to make it.
    But so ends this chapter…

    At long last indeed

  4. #34
    Sh♥tposter Extraordinaire Jinx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shauna View Post


    I think Ron’s image here is the most haunting of them all. I think it’s the lack of face. Harry and Hermione had… features, I guess? He’s just… a matchstick.
    Ron has a very promising career as the next Slenderman.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shauna

    Why are you on this train, snake?! WHY?

    Heart palpitations when going into this battle, honestly. What is a snake even doing here?!
    I'm tired of these mothersmurfing snakes on this mothersmurfing train!

  5. #35
    Taking care of business Bubba's Avatar
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    How does Neville look thinner than Harry?

    Also, it is a bit strange that there is a snake on the Hogwarts Express. I thought students were only allowed to bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad? Also, if that's the case then why is Ron allowed a rat?

  6. #36
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    The Weasleys have a bit of a record for bringing wrong pets to Hogwarts. I mean, Scabbers was Percy's rat to begin with. Then Ginny bought a Pygmy Puff and took that to Hogwarts as her pet.

    This family should be banned from taking pets to Hogwarts.

  7. #37
    Yossarian Lives Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    does it actually say FILIPENDO

    or is there no sound at all I don't recall GBA games usually having it but I live in hope

    One of the students looks like Jinx but I'm not going to say which one.

  8. #38
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    I was actually watching Greys Anatomy when I played, so I couldn't hear anything. I am assuming that there was nothing said.

    Is it Draco?

  9. #39
    Sh♥tposter Extraordinaire Jinx's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychotic View Post
    One of the students looks like Jinx but I'm not going to say which one.

  10. #40
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    Ah yes, the classic entrance hall. It’s like coming home again. Except this time home is significantly less 3D model-y.

    But, it has been a long day for everyone. Time to find my way to the common room.

    But first, something that never happens

    Looks like Dork-o wants to have a chat. SQUARE GO MATE I got my back-up nerdy chick and ginger dude.

    …we got nothing on your guys

    How did you find out about this?!

    Classic Draco line. Potter, you’re trout. Hahahahaha!

    After these harsh words, I think Harry really needs to get to bed. Y’know, so he can apply some burn heal and also cry about his dead parents.

    But first, I chat to some of the students. Hello fellow Gryffindor! How do you do today?


    Look man, I was just saying hello. No need to get so damned snippy with me. Screw you.

    Surely, the Hufflepuff will be nicer to me…

    See friend, that’s how you’re nice to people

    Of course, I ignore the nice Hufflepuff girl and head into the Great Hall. For investigative purposes.

    There are battles to be had! I can take them on, with my party of three! Awww yeah, nothing can stop me now!

    And here we have the fabled magical snapping turtle…

    With a wave of a few wands, I cast Incendio and Flipendo and…

    Ahhhhh crap

    Oh, geez. Level 15? Uh. Yeah. How about them spiders, eh? You’re pretty neat dudes… I’m just uh…


    Just gonna head over here, alright? Yeah? I’ll be back in just a second. You guys wait right there!

    Needless to say, I did not return later, and I spent a lot of time avoiding every single battle I came up against. Which was a lot of them.

    What I learned was exploration is frowned upon and I should never do it again.

    At the top end of the Great Hall, I stumble upon a portrait room. Shockingly, it’s full of portraits.

    Hey there baby, how’s life as a painting on a wall?

    What? You want me to go inside you?!

    Woah where am I

    And as if by magic…

    Sixth floor, baby

    You know what I like about this? It tells you where you are. At no point did I find myself unable to navigate the many halls of Hogwarts. It’s almost like the game creators… learned something and evolved their design.

    It has restored some of my faith!

    Me too, girl, me too

    I don’t think this game could do anything else to ease my doubts!

    Oh god!

    They’ve got the Grand Staircase! The simple fact that this pleases me can only state how little faith I have in the Gameboy versions of these Harry Potter games! Many tears of joy.

    Anyway, one floor up is where the Gryffindor Common Room is. Let’s go!

    What a handsome fellow

    …and explore some more.

    I am… regretting this decision right now

    At this point I am mildly afraid of where I’ll end up.


    So, it’s pretty neat. It seems that all the portraits lead back to the Portrait Room, so if you know which ones go where… You’ve got easy and safe access all over the joint. I didn’t explore this too much further, but I did think it was pretty neat.

    Again, another point on the “You’re a wee bit of alright, game”.

    Could you not have told me this earlier?

    Anyway, to the Common Room.

    For real this time. Exploration gets me killed, remember.

    The detail on the Fat Lady is horrifying

    Everyone’s favourite Prof Dame Maggie Smith McGonagall has some things to tell us about the new school year.

    Professor Lupin?! Say it ain’t so!

    Shockingly the new teacher that we met earlier is actually the DADA teacher. But! Who is the mystery other new teacher? Pressing buttons leads us to our answer.

    Hagrid! A teacher?!

    Along with his gamekeeper duties? I hope he’s getting paid double for all this extra work he’s doing.

    Prof McG has more to say though (god she never stops)

    Oooooohhhhhhhh bad Hermione!

    Uh oh, what’s Hermione done now?!

    You read my mind, Harry

    So Hermione, what was going on? You got detention or something?

    That is vague enough to satisfy my curiosities.

    Professor McGonagall has had enough of all the kids still being awake.

    For some reason all the Gryffindors have Transfiguration?

    She’s gonna be having a busy class. But she’s right, time for bed for our students. Not that we have much choice in the matter.

    ~Transition screeeeen~

    Harry just wakes up and…

    Dammit Hermione, let a boy get some coffee

    Fine. No breakfast for us. Let’s go learn to Transfigure things.



    I think we have our first stop

    As per expectations with exploring, let’s chat to our friends.

    Thank you, friend. Much more helpful than that last douchebag

    Fred and George’s shop is much easier to get access to than in either of the previous Harry Potter entries I’ve played. No god damn stealthy parts.

    Hello, let me see your wares

    I see you have lots of things for sale!

    Miscellaneous first, I think.

    I can buy them? Aww

    Grand Wiggenwelds have lost all their rare beauty. They’re just common rubbish now. Well, let’s see what other stuff I can buy. Maybe some cool new gear?

    I’ll just need to go check the corners of my trunk for more sickles

    Maybe I’m supposed to save up and buy some of these later…

    I probably could use them now though, since I found myself in a battle. Again.

    And here we have the rare green snapping turtle and the Neanderthal knight

    For some reason I actually try to take these guys on. I was feeling confident until…


    Which was quickly followed by a cheeky wee…

    Ugh I hate this

    See that brownie point you got earlier game? No. It’s gone. Why would you not heal Ron back to full health after they “went to bed”? Why would you keep him as no health? Why? In what universe does this make sense! What were you at? +2 on the good points? +1 now, mate. You better think about what you’ve done.

    In my rage I stomp all the way down the stairs and through to Transfiguration class. I find it quickly thanks to this dude

    Thank you for reminding me, son

    However, the first floor that was referring to is actually the ground floor so… That’s another mark off, game. Why can’t you count floors?! Up the first flight of stairs is not the second floor! They’re falling thick and fast now that I’m annoyed.

    We made it in one piece. Sort of

    Ah classrooms. What will we be learning today, Prof?

    Ooooh, Animagi. This could be interesting

    She shows off her skills

    To be honest, I can’t unsee Predator mouth for some reason

    The class are absolutely out of control after seeing this amazing feat of magic


    McGoogle isn’t very happy about this

    Maybe they just don’t like cats

    We never do find out what got into the class. It was just left as a vague comment with no satisfactory conclusion. McGonagall gets over it quickly, so I suppose I should too.

    Wait a second here…

    What happened to the Animagi lesson? I learned nothing about them! Cats?!

    The fact that I have a “challenge” coming up frightens me something terrible. Not because I am afraid that they’ll be anything like the “challenges” I faced in CoS… but the fact that these challenges even exist. I hope this isn’t just a waste of time.


    What the hell? What the absolute HELL does this have to do with Transfiguration? I mean really? REALLY? REALLY?

    You’re now at -1. All the goodwill you had built up, dashed. In a matter of moments. I hope you’re happy, game.

    I wish I could run away like this cat

    Sigh. Into the maze we go. Ugh.

    And this looks just like the rest of the castle

    Not even any effort to make the dungeon place look even slightly different. Game… you’re losing respect fast.

    Luckily the battles are a bit more reasonable.

    This guy is sad because all he wants to do is dance

    I dispatch these guys with no bother, and come up against my first puzzle.


    Flipendo does nothing? Well, I’m out of ideas.

    I spend an embarrassingly long time here shooting flipendo at the buttons. The more I do it… it doesn’t make things happen any faster.

    I at some point decide to just venture slightly to the right… and I discover the true puzzle.


    I was half right. I had to flipendo the blocks on to the buttons.

    Right. Time to press on. More battles are consumed and fun is had. I guess.

    Ahahaha, the turtle farts fire

    Ayyyy ladies

    Another puzzle room comes up.

    oh no what do I do now

    Luckily this time I am a super pro at this block moving nonsense.


    I am so pro. TOO PRO FOR THIS GAME.

    A bit further down the line…

    Why are you here?

    No seriously. Why are Slytherins here? This is a Gryffindor class. How did they get in here? Did McGonagall just go “Aye, alright kids, you can hang around in here”? Seriously. Why?

    Ahahahaha I cannot stop laughing at Crabbe’s sprite

    The battle ain’t no thang (probably because I don’t have Ron in the party, sorry Ron but you’ve not done me proud) and I get some awesome bootay.

    Only 8 sickles? Why is Malfoy hanging out with these poor folk

    For some reason, only Hermione can wear the hat. Probably because it’d mess up Harry’s cool look, and Hermione could probably use it to cover her frightfully untameable hair.

    It must be over now, I think. We’ve beaten the “boss” of the dungeon, and they ran off. Can I not just leave?



    Luckily this room is just flipendoing the blocks in the one direction they can move. I get out in no time.

    So Professor, what do I get for all my hard work?

    P-Professor? Anything?


    The bitch just blanked me and walked away!

    Thx Prof, but we learned this in First Year…?

    I guess she just wanted to congratulate Harry in front of the class by teaching him AND ONLY HIM a new spell.

    But finally class is over. Surely now it must be time to relax. After all, the school day is just one lesson and then bed?

    This… is gonna be fun…

  11. #41
    Taking care of business Bubba's Avatar
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    Who hoo! It's back!

    A Petrificus Totalus spell book? Why the hell would you need a whole book just to learn one spell?

  12. #42
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    The Great Doors of Hogwarts

    Many months later, Harry leaves the Transfiguration classroom and heads outside onto the sunny Hogwarts grounds. I hope Hagrid won’t mind that we’re late!

    Uh sure, there totally is a Whomping Willow here

    After a long trek past all the dangerous shrubberies far away in the distance, we get to Hagrid’s place. I am ready to learn how to care for magical creatures!

    Whenever Hagrid says this, only bad things come

    Okay. Uh. Bring it on, man. We can take it. We can deal with whatever it is you’ve got planned.

    Of course, the plans have a wrench thrown into them by that terrible person – MALFOY!!

    How could you ‘mislay’ the Monster Book of Monsters?

    It’s fine though. Hagrid will have extra copies. He’s a teacher. He will be prepared for this. He will.


    Of course. Of course. Something goes wrong, and the great Harry Potter has to step up to save the day. What a jerk.

    But we only need three. Why do I need to find five?

    How did they even escape? They’re books. Monster books that snap and snarl, but books nonetheless! This reward better be damned worth it.

    Ron pulls the short straw again. Spongify, really?

    Hagrid has a garden? Do you not just mean… the Forbidden Forest?

    I guess not.

    Another maze. Everything is a maze. Also why does Hagrid need a garden maze? I have so many issues right now, and most of them are related to this game.

    Battle times! I generally kick butt in this ol’ maze.

    TEEEEEEETH! Don’t be chomping too hard on me.

    What are those weird worm things? They’re kinda creepy with their teeth…

    Hold on to your hats, you won’t believe what they are!

    Flobberworms? Really? Have you even read the source material? Do you even know what a book is?

    They all go down pretty quick, what with the new fancy spells Hagrid handed us the books to learn. Gives me time to focus on finding the damn Monstery books.

    But first!

    It’s rafting time!

    Wheeeeee yay treasures!

    Nothing of interest inside, sadly. Just more magic frogs. Not nearly exciting enough. But how do I get off of this little island?!

    Thank goodness you are here Hermione!



    A handy dandy little floating platform helps us get over to the angry bouncing book!

    It’s time to take you out, buddy!

    So evil. So Monster. So book.

    I decided to take this time to show off the new spells! First up…


    It is pretty powerful against these guys. I wonder if it’s because the Monster Book of Monsters is a book and Diffindo is shredding the paper to bits? I don’t know.


    Status effects are dumb. Of course Ron gets this spell. Spongify. Geez. Apparently I got bored of this and didn’t grab any screens of Glacius, but whatever. It’s an ice attack.

    Back to the aimless wandering around the Forbidden Forest Hagrid’s Garden Maze.

    Not only is it useful for slicing up paper, it can also bring down sheets on trees!


    Take that spiders. Tryin’ to stop us getting to Aragog, I don’t think so.
    More exploration leads to more out-of-battle spell usage!


    Alright. Useless in battle, dumb on the field. You can tell it’s supposed to be bouncy because it’s got a spring on it (if you squint).


    Up here…

    Another Book!

    He is taken out quick (because I am pro) and it’s time to move on.

    I, however, come across a stumbling block in my plans to continue playing this excellent little video game.

    Why can I not walk up this ledge? Why can I not get any closer? Are shadows evil?

    There’s nothing here either! There’s nowhere to go?!

    Now, I’m sure you’re all super smart and get entirely what I was supposed to do, and I am a complete dunce because how could I not see it?

    Did you figure out the solution to this puzzle?


    I genuinely do not know if I had been staring at this video game too much, but I legitimately could not recognise that as a pitfall, and not a ledge. It took me too long to get this. But, I got there in the end, feeling like a bit of a tit.

    Book number three

    That’s enough. Can I not just go back to Hagrid’s now?

    Nope, I guess not. Book Four!

    And finally… Number Five.

    And the exit! It’s just up here! We’re almost free from this nightmare!

    Holy crap.

    I think I can see where this game’s budget has gone. Getting that Venomous Tentacula to look so good on the field… amazing.



    I do not know quite what this image is supposed to be. Some angry toast?

    Either way. The amazing pixel monster is taken out pretty quickly and I can finally get back to Hagrid so he can lose the stupid replacement books again.

    Magically teleported to the Whomping Willow

    Hagrid takes the books and gives us our eternal reward.

    I… thanks?

    What use is this to anyone? A pocket watch? I can’t even think of any dumb plot points in Prisoner of Azkaban that would require this.

    Ugh, whatever. Let’s just learn about magical things.

    Yes, thank you Hermione. You are always the voice of reason.

    Over slightly to the north, the usual Hogwarts fun is going on.

    HAH! Classic Draco.

    Although really, why is Hagrid a teacher. As much as Malfoy is a dick, it’s fair enough… Hagrid is not qualified to be teaching anyone. Although, how do people get qualified to teach at Hogwarts? They let pretty much anyone in…

    Before we get too much further into the inner workings of Hogwarts, Harry shouts down Malfoy. Because of course he does.

    HAH! Classic Draco, again. He has such cutting insults.

    Anyway, bring on the creatures!


    Here is everyone’s favourite hippogriff, Buckbeak. He is so regal.


    Careful now, Draco. Hippogriffs don’t like being insulted!

    OH NO!

    Rearing up on his hind legs, Buckbeak lashes out at the child. While facing the wrong way. So much damage!

    ”What have I done?” “I just told you – you killed me!”

    Hagrid escorts the invalid (the dead invalid) away from the scene of the murder-crime.

    Harry decides to take a crack at making friends with Buckbeak. If anyone could, it’d be the Boy Who Lived right? A hippogriff couldn’t kill a guy with that name!

    How to Make Friends: Harry Potter Style

    Again, I did not make this up. He legitimately stands beside Buckbeak, while the hippogriff looks in the opposite direction, and then they’re friends. They couldn’t do… anything to make it look like Harry actually did something?

    But the riding Buckbeak happens.

    God help me

    Okay, I can do this. The instructions are simple enough…


    Six minutes and ninety seconds later…

    I think I did not too bad

    I think… I might just…


    That’s more like it.

    I am glad I got some points. I would have been so ashamed if I only got 0 points in this simple minigame.

    Ahahahaha, good one

    AHAHAHAHAHA not a chance mate

    We are finally done here with Care of Magical Creatures. Thank god. What’s next?

    I see.

    Oh lord.

    This is going to be great

    I just wonder how they are going to make Potions class into a maze puzzle. I am sure they'll manage it somehow. I mean, how else can they do classes?

  13. #43
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    Sheetle Bug (Sargatanas)


    Harry awoke from a dreadful nightmare one that felt like it lasted at least twenty-six years. He was drenched in a cold sweat. “Harry, what's wrong?!” exclaimed Hermione.

    “I had the most awful dream that I had a bratty son in the future that time travelled and almost allowed Voldemort to be victorious with the help of... and I can't quite believe it myself, but help from Voldemort's daughter!”

    Ron and Hermione exchanged a glance, before laughing. “Oh Harry, that sounds as ridiculous as the two of us getting married and living happily ever after! Now come on, let's get to potions class.”

    We're back!

    Yes, after many months the best Harry Potter games Let's Play series on the Eyes on Final Fantasy forum is back! And what better way to start us off than getting incredibly lost.

    Oh lord, I don't remember where the castle is.

    But fortunately for me today, the exploration leads me to some neato prizes.

    I think this is the first time a Harry Potter game has not kicked me in the head for daring to explore.

    I will spare you the endless hunt for Hogwarts, and take you straight to where the action is. That's right: the Dungeons and Potions Class!

    No, the chest did not provide such excellent gifts this time

    Harry, Ron and Hermione get all cosy around their cauldron, ready for whatever terrible minigame potion-making was going to be. Oh god, please don't let it be too terrible. I don't think I can handle it. Please Professor Snape, say it ain't so!?

    ermagerd it's preffesar snop

    Ahahahahahaha, brilliant. No matter what this class throws at me, my glee will not be dampened.

    Frickin' derp Snape


    Yet, to my surprise...

    I have an important choice here...

    Why the heck would you not choose Harry? I mean, he is the main character. He will be fighting the final battle in this dumb game. Why would you not want him to get as much experience as possible? Unless you have some great desire to get Ron and Hermione alone together...

    Anyway, we get our task.

    What an interesting recipe...

    Anyway, it shouldn't be that hard getting this stuff from the store room. In we go!


    I know I made a joke earlier about this. But I was kind of hoping that it wouldn't come to this. Why would the potions class have a maze? Why? There is no need for any of this!

    But it is the same old, same old. Use the right spells to get past the right obstacles.

    Uh maybe Ron would have been a good idea here, what with his famous Alohomora spell usage

    We also get some new and not a recolour enemies here! Salamanders!

    Li'l cuties

    So cute in fact, that they drop super cute equippable items too!

    Sadly Harry cannot be adorned with such cuteness

    You may think I would be mildly pleased with this turn of events, but it just led to another nitpick. Because these games can never let me be happy for any length of time.

    Sure thing Hermione, just put that bow on your wrist, why not, go for it

    What do you MEAN the bow isn't a hat? How can you even wear a bow and a hat at the same time? Why would you even want to? I can barely understand the logic.

    With a change of topic almost as quick as the leaps this game pulls off, we press on into the maze. It's really not very maze like at all. Straight lines.

    I find my first item!

    uh no comment moving swiftly on

    More palette swap enemies!

    Mortis bats these are. That's all I got for you

    Honestly, this game is so incredibly samey. There's nothing new I can say since it keeps throwing the same things at me over and over again. Same enemies. Same dungeons. Same tasks. It doesn't help that none of the places really look very different. I apologise for the boring commentary.

    Anyway, the less I chat about how boring this is, the faster I will get through this section. HERE ARE THE THINGS I FOUND.

    At least neither of these look... questionable

    Only a few more bits to gather and then I can get the hell out of here! But first...

    Why the god damn hell is there a troll in here

    Why has Professor Snape sent students into this maze when he knows full god damn well there is a troll just hanging around? It's a river troll too. Why is there a river troll in a castle?!

    He certainly ain't impressed with me

    The river troll is also level 20 compared to my... not level 20. Things ain't great.


    Luckily I find out that he appears to be weak to incendio! So I of course spend the rest of the battle trying out all my other spells to see if they have as much of an effect as incendio.
    The results were as follows:

    To say I had some regrets would be a mild understatement

    Honestly, this game punishes you for trying things out, to see if other spells do as much damage. Harry has around 30MP? And one incendio does 6MP. Diffindo does 10MP. Vermillious does 3MP. Try out them all and you're already down to less than half your MP. And if it turns out Diffindo is great, well, you're boned. Yes you can use Pepper-Up, but you're usually trapped in a healing cycle because all the enemies hit hard. Unforgiving.

    Luckily it still doesn't reset back to an earlier save, and just to the start of the dungeon. With all your progress saved! This time you're going DOWN troll!

    Aw yeah, powered up Incendio gonna take you DOWN

    That's more like it

    The troll also has some useful drops

    Snape sent students down with the knowledge that a troll held some of the required items for the potion sure why not

    And just behind our troll friend, we have our last ingredient!


    Now that we have all the ingredients, time to get back to-

    yes thank you Hermione

    A short backtrack through the maze, and we return to the potions class, met with celebrations over our defeat of the river troll in the dungeons.

    You sent us into a maze how can we draw attention to ourselves

    They are trying really hard with Snape here. REALLY hard. Too hard, some may say.

    Ushered back to our cauldrons, it is time for Ron's stupid question hour

    I don't know maybe follow your recipe


    Just let Hermione do it. Of course!

    We follow her indepth instructions. Herbs in. Ingredients in.

    Are herbs not included as ingredients?

    Cool I'll roll with it.

    Somehow this worked

    Our potion is a success. What do you think, Professor Snerpe?


    Sheesh, calm the heck down Snape. We just did what you told us to do. In your class. Which was make a potion. Nobody's expecting anything.

    Anyway, we get sent away because it's time for...


    DADA! Everyone's favourite class!

    Uh oh

    I have no idea where this is. God help me. I'll be another few months.

  14. #44
    Taking care of business Bubba's Avatar
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    Still marvelling how much Harry and Hermione look like Patrick Swayze and Bran Stark

    Why the hell is Harry not allowed to wear the headband? I know this game came out a few years ago but come on, game. Move with the times!

    The potions collection side quest should have been included in the book, I feel. It would have solidified Snape's hatred for Harry by sending him through a maze and death by troll as opposed to just a regular store cupboard.

  15. #45
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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    Sorry Bubba, I have disappointed you by having another post up in a timely manner.

    crap crap crap crap

    Welcome back to this here Let's Play! I don't know how long I'll be wandering aimlessly around, so...


    Not too long it seems. Snape doesn't have far to walk to get to the staff room. Man am I flying through this game.

    Time for learning, Lupin! Lay it on us! I'll just let our cast get us through the text dump explaining why we're going to go into another maze.

    A giant bogie? Tee hee I am hilarious

    Hermione of course knows the score

    After the lengthy explanation, it's time for Harry to step up to go into the wardrobe or something. This game is so predictable.


    None of those names are Harry, what is even going on!?

    Neville expresses my confusion so eloquently

    Part of me is kind of surprised that the game kept to the plot and didn't have Harry partake in this lesson. But then, it sticks to canon at the most random times so I guess I shouldn't be too shocked that this was one of those times.

    Let it all out of the closet, Lupin! Let it all hang out!


    You're damn right it's riddikulus

    It's a simple press directional buttons to destroy enemies game, shouldn't be too much of an issue...

    What the actual heck. Beaten once again by this terrible game! ONE MORE TIME


    Whew, a more reasonable score. I can continue to show my face around these parts...

    Right so after this fun diversion...

    I mean, I wasn't really that tired but if you insist...

    Harry doesn't feel that it is time for the common room yet. He has some words to have with Lupin.

    My name is in the title of the game, why was I not allowed to do anything?!

    More exposition...

    Not Lord Voldemort!

    Yeah, those dementors that Lupin told to shoo. Real scary Harry.

    Help, you say?

    Sounds like more minigames are in my future. I am pretty good at divination, you see. I wonder if that will ever show up?

    Lupin has had enough of Harry's complaints

    Back to the common room with us, I guess.

    Just like magic, here we are

    Our heroes chill out by the fireplace for a while, not doing very much...


    Looks like we've got a standoff here...

    Crookshanks and Scabbers wander around MENACINGLY for a while

    Yeah Hermione, stop Crookshanks from walking around near Scabbers

    After some random walking around from everyone involved, Crookshanks chases Scabbers from the Common Room. Dammit kid, keep a hold of your stupid pet.

    What a good friend

    So we walk two steps outside of the portrait...

    Wait, why did you even need Harry's help?

    Well... okay then. That was a waste of time. Back to the common room I guess?

    Uhhh why is everyone outside?

    No really, why??????

    Heard what, exactly?

    Hermione, we've been gone for all of a minute. What could have possibly happened? Why did you all leave the common room?!

    Oh. It's this.

    Right, so they had to bring in the Flight of the Fat Lady. It's an important plot point. But wow this has some terrible implementation. Could they honestly not have found a better way for this to happen? Everyone is suddenly locked out of the common room despite being in the common room 30 seconds before. UGH.

    Anyway Sir Cadogan.

    Here he is

    He is definitely a thing.

    What a fantastic face. They are just getting derpier.

    So, uh, what are we doing, game?

    What an incredibly stupid question

    No Hermione, the Fat Lady would never go by the place that her own portrait is. She is never found here at all! Not a once!

    After a brief chat with Cadogan, he agrees to take us to the Fat Lady. Why Harry and the gang need to wander around Hogwarts to find her is beyond me.


    It makes more sense for Ron and Hermione to go, definitely.


    Sure thing

    We speak to some portraits and none of them are any use. Maybe all the ones on the Seventh Floor are just blind. To the staircase! There are millions of portraits there, surely one of them has seen Cadogan or the Fat Lady.

    Who could possibly dislike Cadogan?!

    Sidebar: Ahahahaha, that hair.

    Either way, score, we know where Cadogan wandered off to.

    Did I ever mention that this game is poorly made? Because here's a thing!

    Sorry to bother you then ma'am

    You will notice that she is approximately one pixel in front of the guy who had seen Cadogan go to the second floor. Where's the consistency? Why did dumb hair see him, but she didn't? Why program this in to the game at all?

    Anyway we find Cadogan on the second floor, amazingly.

    Here he is

    Well, you knew where she was so was she ever really lost?

    I guess we better find out what happened. So tell us, lady – what happened?

    Sir Cadogan's moustache isn't that terrible... no reason to flee!

    Elaborate a little bit, if you don't mind.


    The murderer?! FROM AZKABAN? IN HOGWARTS?! We should warn a teacher! McGonagall! Sirius Black is in the castle?!

    O-or that

    This is a priority for some reason. Uh alright. Go for it. Better head back to the common room to warn Harry? I just...

    Remember kids, Cadogan is now watching over Gryffindor Dorms

    Harry is waiting for his buds in their usual spot by the fireplace. Time to tell him the bad news, I guess!

    Now don't take this too badly, remember what you didn't promise the Weasleys!

    Harry doesn't even get a moment to process this information

    Come on girl, give him a moment to think

    No need to panic the kid, Ron!

    So Harry, what do you think? It's okay, we're all here for you. Open your heart and admit your feelings.


    Going back to that thing we mentioned before... you know, Sirius Black? Any response to that at all, Harry?


    That all? Nothing... about the man who had a direct hand in the death of your parents wandering around Hogwarts? Nothing? Ron, say something to knock some sense into the boy!

    Not really what I had in mind...

    Let's Players note: I did not cut out anything for comedic effect here. I promise. This is actually how their conversation goes. You couldn't make it up. I just... I got nothing.

    Anyway, time for DADA again. I don't know why we have another lesson about 30 minutes after our last DADA class, but sure. Whatever. Til next time.

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