The Great Doors of Hogwarts

Many months later, Harry leaves the Transfiguration classroom and heads outside onto the sunny Hogwarts grounds. I hope Hagrid won’t mind that we’re late!


Uh sure, there totally is a Whomping Willow here

After a long trek past all the dangerous shrubberies far away in the distance, we get to Hagrid’s place. I am ready to learn how to care for magical creatures!


Whenever Hagrid says this, only bad things come

Okay. Uh. Bring it on, man. We can take it. We can deal with whatever it is you’ve got planned.

Of course, the plans have a wrench thrown into them by that terrible person – MALFOY!!


How could you ‘mislay’ the Monster Book of Monsters?

It’s fine though. Hagrid will have extra copies. He’s a teacher. He will be prepared for this. He will.

…


DAMMIT HAGRID!

Of course. Of course. Something goes wrong, and the great Harry Potter has to step up to save the day. What a jerk.


But we only need three. Why do I need to find five?

How did they even escape? They’re books. Monster books that snap and snarl, but books nonetheless! This reward better be damned worth it.


Ron pulls the short straw again. Spongify, really?

Hagrid has a garden? Do you not just mean… the Forbidden Forest?


I guess not.

Another maze. Everything is a maze. Also why does Hagrid need a garden maze? I have so many issues right now, and most of them are related to this game.

Battle times! I generally kick butt in this ol’ maze.



TEEEEEEETH! Don’t be chomping too hard on me.



What are those weird worm things? They’re kinda creepy with their teeth…

Hold on to your hats, you won’t believe what they are!


…Flobberworms? Really? Have you even read the source material? Do you even know what a book is?

They all go down pretty quick, what with the new fancy spells Hagrid handed us the books to learn. Gives me time to focus on finding the damn Monstery books.

But first!


It’s rafting time!


Wheeeeee yay treasures!

Nothing of interest inside, sadly. Just more magic frogs. Not nearly exciting enough. But how do I get off of this little island?!


Thank goodness you are here Hermione!

Glacio!


Bing!

A handy dandy little floating platform helps us get over to the angry bouncing book!

It’s time to take you out, buddy!


So evil. So Monster. So book.

I decided to take this time to show off the new spells! First up…


DIFFINDO!

It is pretty powerful against these guys. I wonder if it’s because the Monster Book of Monsters is a book and Diffindo is shredding the paper to bits? I don’t know.


SPONGIFY!

Status effects are dumb. Of course Ron gets this spell. Spongify. Geez. Apparently I got bored of this and didn’t grab any screens of Glacius, but whatever. It’s an ice attack.

Back to the aimless wandering around the Forbidden Forest Hagrid’s Garden Maze.



Not only is it useful for slicing up paper, it can also bring down sheets on trees!


BOOM!

Take that spiders. Tryin’ to stop us getting to Aragog, I don’t think so.
More exploration leads to more out-of-battle spell usage!


Wow.

Alright. Useless in battle, dumb on the field. You can tell it’s supposed to be bouncy because it’s got a spring on it (if you squint).


SPROING!

Up here…


Another Book!

He is taken out quick (because I am pro) and it’s time to move on.

I, however, come across a stumbling block in my plans to continue playing this excellent little video game.


Why can I not walk up this ledge? Why can I not get any closer? Are shadows evil?


There’s nothing here either! There’s nowhere to go?!

Now, I’m sure you’re all super smart and get entirely what I was supposed to do, and I am a complete dunce because how could I not see it?

Did you figure out the solution to this puzzle?


LUMOS!

I genuinely do not know if I had been staring at this video game too much, but I legitimately could not recognise that as a pitfall, and not a ledge. It took me too long to get this. But, I got there in the end, feeling like a bit of a tit.


Book number three

That’s enough. Can I not just go back to Hagrid’s now?


Nope, I guess not. Book Four!


And finally… Number Five.

And the exit! It’s just up here! We’re almost free from this nightmare!


Holy crap.

I think I can see where this game’s budget has gone. Getting that Venomous Tentacula to look so good on the field… amazing.

Just…

Amazing.



I do not know quite what this image is supposed to be. Some angry toast?

Either way. The amazing pixel monster is taken out pretty quickly and I can finally get back to Hagrid so he can lose the stupid replacement books again.


Magically teleported to the Whomping Willow

Hagrid takes the books and gives us our eternal reward.


I… thanks?

What use is this to anyone? A pocket watch? I can’t even think of any dumb plot points in Prisoner of Azkaban that would require this.

Ugh, whatever. Let’s just learn about magical things.


Yes, thank you Hermione. You are always the voice of reason.

Over slightly to the north, the usual Hogwarts fun is going on.


HAH! Classic Draco.

Although really, why is Hagrid a teacher. As much as Malfoy is a dick, it’s fair enough… Hagrid is not qualified to be teaching anyone. Although, how do people get qualified to teach at Hogwarts? They let pretty much anyone in…

Before we get too much further into the inner workings of Hogwarts, Harry shouts down Malfoy. Because of course he does.


HAH! Classic Draco, again. He has such cutting insults.

Anyway, bring on the creatures!


Fancy.

Here is everyone’s favourite hippogriff, Buckbeak. He is so regal.


Burn

Careful now, Draco. Hippogriffs don’t like being insulted!


OH NO!

Rearing up on his hind legs, Buckbeak lashes out at the child. While facing the wrong way. So much damage!


”What have I done?” “I just told you – you killed me!”

Hagrid escorts the invalid (the dead invalid) away from the scene of the murder-crime.

Harry decides to take a crack at making friends with Buckbeak. If anyone could, it’d be the Boy Who Lived right? A hippogriff couldn’t kill a guy with that name!




How to Make Friends: Harry Potter Style

Again, I did not make this up. He legitimately stands beside Buckbeak, while the hippogriff looks in the opposite direction, and then they’re friends. They couldn’t do… anything to make it look like Harry actually did something?

But the riding Buckbeak happens.


God help me

Okay, I can do this. The instructions are simple enough…


OH GOD WHAT DO I DO

Six minutes and ninety seconds later…


I think I did not too bad


I think… I might just…

DO THIS MINIGAME AGAIN


That’s more like it.

I am glad I got some points. I would have been so ashamed if I only got 0 points in this simple minigame.


Ahahahaha, good one


AHAHAHAHAHA not a chance mate

We are finally done here with Care of Magical Creatures. Thank god. What’s next?


I see.

Oh lord.


This is going to be great

I just wonder how they are going to make Potions class into a maze puzzle. I am sure they'll manage it somehow. I mean, how else can they do classes?