Quote Originally Posted by ToriJ
Best AvatarWelcome to EoFF Best Avatar, that time of year we set aside to remember the day we turned our eyes a little the left and went, “Huh. That's kind of cool.” Now, it took some doing but we were able to get everyone out of the psychiatric hospital long enough so they could attend this ceremony. And God help us if we mix up their medication. So, without further ado, let's look over the nominees for Best Avatar!

DK

Ermahgerd spiders!

Here we have a guy who looks like he was just shown a horse's dick from some chat room pervert. Look at him, he looks mortified! What he sees may very be too disturbing for our eyes to witness. This brave man has taken it upon himself to carry this burden wherever he goes so we don't have to endure the sheer horror of the abnormality he's been forced to look at for centuries. Thank you, kind sir! Thank you so much!

It should be noted that DK has only posted twelve times this year, and still this avatar has been nominated for Best Avatar. That's how much of an impact this single image has had in an entire community. Who is he? I don't know! I can only assume he's one of them crazy out of world soccer players who think football actually has to do with using your feet. Silly, rest of the world. But enough about DK, let's move on to our next contestant.

FREYA

To order your Black Mage plushie go to www.blackmageplushie.com

Introducing Freya, Master of Fork. Wouldn't that be Mistress of Fork? I guess fork masters take the Jedi route when it comes to gender. Freya is coming to us with a cute, adorable Black Mage avatar. Not as adorable as Charmander in the outfit, but still pretty freaking adorable. But to those of us who have followed her in the Rant Thread we know deep down that behind the cuteness, is a power fantasy that will one day spring to life. Yes, I can already see it now.

At Freya's Workplace

Coworker #1: Satan was a dinosaur.
Coworker #2: Gay people are gross.
Coworker #3: I approve of hitting children.
Coworker: #4 Obama! Obama! Obama!
Freya: AHHHHHHHHHH! Transform into a Black Mage and catches her staff in the air Firaga!
Coworker #2: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Bursts into flames and is reduced to ash
Sephex: Head leans in from the corner Toasty!
Freya: Blizzaga!
Coworker #2: Is frozen in a large block of ice
Freya: Rams into the block of ice shattering it on impact
Coworker #3/Coworker #4: Runs away
Freya: Holds up staff Thundaga! Streams of electricity shoots from all sides and collides together electrocuting the two coworkers
Coworker #3/Coworker #4: Collapses on the ground
Boss: Freya, get back to work!
Freya: Turns around and whacks the boss over the head knocking him out What? He's my dad. Goes to the center of the office and raises up her staff UL-TI-MA! The room shakes as a blinding light consumes everything
Office Building: Blows the smurf up and collapses to the ground


Let us hope that Freya wins this award because if she doesn't, then Gaia have mercy on us all! It's always the quiet ones.

JINX

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

What is that? No, seriously, what the smurf is that!? It looks like something Kirby would trout out after being digested. Is it a Pokemon? A Digimon? Chinpokomon? Dillymon? Lilymon? Phillymon? Westphillymon? Tittiesmon? The woman's name used to be about Tifa's breasts, so anything's possible. Why does it have eyes? A mouth? Arms? Why does it look like it has its hand on its nonexistent hips making that face? WHAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T KNOW?!

You tell your masters that A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! THIS DAY WE FIGHT! CHARGE!

ToriJ: Screams and leads an army of men towards the pink abomination
Pink Abomination: Consumes the men in the pink goo
Soldier: It's eating our flesh!
ToriJ: Hold your ground, men! HOLD YOUR GROUND!
Soldier: It's tearing us apart limb from limb! OH MY GAIA THERE'S NO STOPPING IT!
ToriJ: HOLD YOUR GROUND, DAMN YOU!
Pink Abomination: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! Becomes one with Tori's men

Two hours later

ToriJ: Makes it back to his chair covered in pink goo The courage of men is more fragile than I first thought.
Soldiers: Distant cries and whimpers can be heard from the battlefield
ToriJ: But luckily I got out of it okay.
Soldier: You stuck my head in its mouth so you could get away, you coward!
ToriJ: Shoots guy with a pistol Next nominee.

PIKE

If you didn't choose this as your starter you're playing the game wrong.

Well, this is nice. Charmander is ranked number four in the overall Pokemon list and is remembered fondly on even to this day. Here we have a picture of him roasting a marshmallow with his tail which is cute, funny, and imaginative. I can easily see why Pike would choose it, and why people voted for it. In fact, I think it has a good chance of winning, or at least make the top three. There isn't much more that needs to be said. On to the next–!

Pike: Breaks down the wall and steps into the room
ToriJ: Pike Sanshiro!
Pike: Backhands ToriJ left and right and lifts him up out of his chair to spin him around
ToriJ: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Wolf Kanno: like nothing's happening
Pike: Puts on shoulders and slams ToriJ through his desk
ToriJ: Looks up at Pike from the floor
Pike: Holds out game case You must play MORROWIND!
Cut to Morrowind game footage
Narrator: Morrowind! Create your character and play through the fantasy adventure battling enemies and exploring the rich and powerful lore of the world. Only available on PC and Xbox.
Cuts back to Pike and ToriJ
ToriJ: Playing the game while sobbing
Pike:

RAISTLIN

Do you like WCW raistlin?

What can you say? Raistlin's avatar is a classic. The guy had the avatar since I first joined. I don't know how long he had it. He's either really, really, dedicated, or really, really lazy. Or really, really lazily dedicated! But say what you will about the man, no one can denied the sheer impact his avatar has on the world. It's on our coffee mugs!


Our stamps!


It has even put on women's panties!


That's right, ladies. Now you too can take a piece of Raistlin home with you.

But the biggest achievement came when Square Enix announced that he was officially on the Final Fantasy XV logo!


Because what better way to celebrate a game by men, for men, and about men, then with the biggest manliest man to ever man on the man-lands. Raistin the Man!


Raistin/Shlup '16
Vote smart. Vote Raistsmart.

The ball's in your court, EoFF! Who will it be? The Face of Derp? The Black Mage of Power? Satan's pink hellspawn? Charmander roasting on an open fire? Or Raistin the Man? Godspeed, EoFF!

Godspeed!

End Transmission!