Originally Posted by
Jar Jar Jinks
If you haven't heard about Elf on the Shelf yet, you've clearly been living under a rock, but I'll explain it for those of you. Essentially, Elf on the Shelf is a little elf doll who is hidden in your house before Christmas to spy on all of your activities and report back to Santa if you've been naughty or nice.
There are many Elves on the Shelves that help out Santa, so in preparation of this award, we had our Elf on the Shelf nominees spy on EoFFers to show just how good they could be at their job, if they were to be the true EoFF Elf on the Shelf.
Ayen
Ayen spied on Sephex. What did he find? Apparently Sephex likes to dance by himself in his underwear, but it's not to deathmetal. Oh no. Sephex dances in his underwear to Taylor Swift.
Colonel Angus
Colonel Angus snuck into Shorty's house. It seems that her love of sweets is the real deal. Colonel Angus discovered that Shorty keeps an entire tray of cupcakes and pastries next to her bed at all times. She also likes to dress up Achilles in a fez and suit jacket and play Doctor Who with him.
FFIX Choco Boy
FFIX Choco Boy spied on Formalhaut. Apparently that nice guy act is just that: an act! Formy runs an underground fight club in his basement, and has been known to KO a person more than once! He also has to wear dentures, because he's lost so many teeth while fighting.
Freya
Freya visited the house of Bubba and Miss H. I'm sorry to report that they are horrible parents. They often leave young James home alone. Sure, they tell him he can play Bubba's PS4, and they leave him some money to order a pizza... When they do spend time with James, they play a game they like to call Jamesminton. They volley James over a net with rackets.
Fynn
Fynn checked in on Psychotic. Fynn discovered that Psychotic's talks about steak and meat have been a lie. He's actually a hardcore vegan and regularly attends PETA protests and slings red paint on people who wear fur. He also hates mini eggs and thinks Reese's Eggs are the superior Easter candy.
Jar Jar Jinks
Jinx took a trip over the pond to get a sneak at Matt and Shauna. It turns out that they are part of a Satanic cult and regularly sacrifice babies and animals to summon the devil. No luck yet, but if they succeed, the plan for total world domination.
Pike
Pike flew down to Australia to watch Jiro and Miss Mae. Apparently they are as lovely as they seem, nothing interesting to report.
Pumpkin
Pumpkin visited the home of Steve. Guess what? It turns out we all owe him an apology, because they guy is getting it on every night. With multiple women. All hours of the day. Sometimes three, four women at the same time. He is a total lothario.
So there you have it. A big thanks to all of our hardworking Elves on the Shelves, and may the best Elf on the Shelf win!
!!!! So excited for you this Ciddies!
Master of the Fork
Cid's Knight
Ayen
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