Originally Posted by
Bubba
It seems you have all been taken in by Firion's stuttering, feeble address. It is left to I, Kefka, to point out that despite a hint of eloquence, this speech was severely lacking in substance. Ignoring the first two paragraphs which were garbage, the final one only really displays Firion's confusion. "Where am I? What is this place?" Do you really want someone in charge this clueless? He ends this speech with an extremely vague "Oooh there are baddies, give us this item and we'll freeze 'em!" I can assure all of you, we have much more to offer.
The first thing we can guarantee under our reign will be excitement. Imagine playing a Final Fantasy game and every NPC you talk to just wander around their village saying things like "All is well" or "I am happy" or the classic "..." How is that enjoyable? Surely, you would much rather they ran around the village with their arse on fire shouting "The Beast of Baking Powder has torched our village! Please find a piece-of-crap bracelet in a random cave to magically kill it!". Haha, much fun and frolics!
Also, when the good guys are in charge, what do they inevitably do? They sit on their thrones in their big castles doing absolutely bugger all. As villains, we make ourselves available to the public. On lots of occasions we are seen visiting towns across the land. True, we are generally there to torture the towns inhabitants but have you asked your average NPC what they really think about BDSM?
Finally, we can ensure that all public transport will run on time. TO THE SECOND. If not, the offending workers will be dismembered and have their limbs ground up and fed to chocobos. You will never be late for work again.
As you can see, we have actual promises as opposed to vaguely mumbling "We'll get the baddies for you!" Vote Villains for the Final Fantasy experience that you all know and love!
~Kefka
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