So there ends the Ciddies for another 6 months. Congratulations to all the winners, whoever you may be! I hope you accepted with grace (and then partied and cheered yourself on, because YOU ROCK!). And to those of us who didn't win the award that we wanted, I hope you lost with grace and did not get too upset.
See there's a thing about being 'the loser' that a lot of people don't realise, and that's that we take our losses and use them as fuel. In the case of the Ciddies, maybe what we take from losing 'Kindest Member' is that we can continue to grow and continue our journey to being a better person. Maybe not winning 'Funniest Member' will push us to make more people laugh and smile and we'll spread more funnies throughout the year.
What I'm trying to say is, even if you feel like you haven't been recognised - believe me - you have. I recognise you. That person you admire recognises you too. We're all here together, and this is our home - this is our dusty little corner of the internet that we come back to time after time after time after time.
Of course, there are many that we have lost - some who will never come back. But at one time, we all shared this home. This tiny forum that is just one tiny home amongst an endless galaxy of websites. Sorry, I feel like I'm getting a little bit Carl Sagan here....
We found each other here.
Whether it came from boredom, a need to find information, or a desire to find friends. We found each other here. We could have went to another place - and perhaps we did for a while - but we all came and collided here, together, right now. I think that's pretty special.
Some of us have found love here. Some of us have found soulmates here. Some of us have laughed til we hurt here. Many of us have cried here. We found each other here.
I think that's a way to look and reflect upon our actions - that we all came here through our love of just ONE thing. Final Fantasy. We came to Eyes on because at some time, at some point, for some moment - we loved Final Fantasy enough to want to find people who were the same kind of nerd as us. To discuss stupid things with.
We've grown up together.
There's something very special about people like us, that a lot of people who are our age don't get to know. We're 'Forumgoers' and that makes you special. Why? Because you came to something new and exciting when it was still new and exciting and you met us all on the Forum. Never before our generation, were people making friends on the Internet. Friends who were 10,000 miles away, or friends that you discovered lived in the next town over.
Even more uniquely, we can go back and look through our memories and thoughts and posts and lives like a scrapbook here. We can flip back the pages and see our mistakes and triumphs, our ups and downs - and next to those very moments we can see each other too.
I haven't been a member of Eyes on Final Fantasy for as long as some of you, but I have been through other places and known other people in similar forums. But there's something special about Eyes on, isn't there? There's something about each of us being here when we needed to be.
Coming to Eyes on Final Fantasy often feels like coming home.
There will come a day (and maybe it's already here) that our members will be younger than our home. We have all grown up here. We've shared our lives - or kept them secret - but we've been here as time has went on, years have passed. Ciddies have come and gone. Our members remain.
New people join us and older members leave - and that is always sad, and sometimes you wonder if it's because they're too cool for us - have they moved on? Do they dislike this place now? Who can tell the answers to those questions because they're beyond us now.
We've fallen apart together. People argue, and we fall out - and we call each other names - and we threaten to never come back home. But we always do. Somehow we manage to find the glue to put ourselves and our friendships back together and mend ourselves. It's all just part of the process of growing. If I have ever fallen out with you, I hope you know that I am not that person anymore, and I know you're not the same either. I hope we can rebuild and be friends again.
I've often wondered how important I am to the Eyes on family. As I'm sure many others have before me. I often feel like what I have to contribute is not enough, and so I feel saddened and as if the wheel just keeps rolling and I'm running behind it, dying to keep up. I've often always wanted to only be the best version of myself that I can be here. Perfect. But there's no such thing. Sometimes it's okay to go a little coocoo crazy and have moments where you don't feel 'perfect'. Afterall, a family always forgives. If you've ever felt like this (and I know so many of you have) just know that I don't judge you. I remember that image of you at your best, and even now, if you're at a low. I still love you, and I still know that you are that level of greatness and you will never be any less.
Back to the Ciddies. I know what it's like to feel like your efforts have been ignored, and that people don't care. But let me tell you that people care - and we see you. You are just as much a part of this crazy family as the most popular members. You are just as funny as the funniest member, you are just as hard-working as the best Staffer.
Afterall, you came and you found us here. We're a family.