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Thread: Whopperito

  1. #1
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    Default Whopperito

    So this is happening, and it's gonna be terri-bad.

    I've already noticed on their menu that they have a "Dr. Pepper milkshake" and "Cheetos Mac and Cheese Nuggets."

    So, it's a mountain, and someone needs to climb it. That person will be me. In the name of masochism SCIENCE I will eat this three item nightmare combo as a meal while my girlfriend watches in silent disgust.

    Stay tuned to hear my review.
    Last edited by sharkythesharkdogg; 03-15-2017 at 06:04 PM.

  2. #2
    Crazy Scot. Cid's Knight Shauna's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    Default


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    Sh♥tposter Extraordinaire Jinx's Avatar
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    who tf puts pickles in a burrito

    otherwise, i'm on board
    mfw you post

  5. #5
     Master of the Fork Cid's Knight Freya's Avatar
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    wot

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    Lord's Blade Bri's Avatar
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    I would go for the shake and nuggets, I do know that pickles in a burrito will never find its way down my belly though.

    But! Good luck and do let us know how it goes!


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    Pinkasaurus Rex Cid's Knight Pumpkin's Avatar
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    what when is this happening

  8. #8
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    We'll go Friday.


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    The Dr Pepper milkshake is the only okay sounding item on that list; it sounds like it'll be something of a coke float. I've already heard of the Mac n' Cheetos and it sounds like an abomination. The Whopperito doesn't sound as bad, but still highly questionable.

    Talking about bad food ideas, the local Kebab house (which, despite the name, also does an array of other items) advertises its 'Pizzaburger' rather prominently. Here it is advertised on their website:

    Pizzaburger.png

    I mean, I feel sick just looking at it. Funnily enough their kebabs are actually rather damn tasty without being needlessly greasy, but that just looks stomach churning.


  10. #10
    Krankzinnigheid ligt dich Colonel Angus's Avatar
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    I really want to try the Dr Pepper shake, but I keep forgetting about it.

  11. #11

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    Everything mentioned so far in this thread sounds/looks delicious to me. I'll think of the pickle in the burrito as BK's version of pico de gallo.

    Except for the Mr Pibb Milkshake, sounds nazty

  12. #12
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I Took the Red Pill View Post
    I'll think of the pickle in the burrito as BK's version of pico pickle de gallo.
    I think we just co-created a new condiment.

    Everyone seems to be forgetting it's basically just burger ingredients wrapped in a tortilla with some half-assed TexMex sauce thrown in. Pickles make as much sense as any other ingredient to me.

  13. #13
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    Default No Surprises Here.

    I use a typical 1-10 scale when I rate things. The only special difference is that 5 means truly average to me, not 7. A score of 5 means I'd eat it, it's not offensive, it gets the job done, but it's completely forgettable.

    DR. PEPPER MILKSHAKE

    Someone suggested this would simply create a creamier version a Dr. Pepper float, and I think that was indeed Burger King's goal here. It wasn't bad, but it was pretty bland. They didn't really add enough Dr. Pepper syrup to create a convincing flavor. It was just a boring vanilla milkshake with the slightest hint of cola-like flavoring.

    6/10 because at least they were trying to make something a little different, even if it still wound up being pretty boring.

    WHOPPERITO

    Entirely disappointing. The Whopperito may have had something it could have brought to the table that was new, different, and maybe even flavorful, but it somehow struck a finely balanced trifecta of bad execution, boring taste, and it managing to look like nothing new at all.

    I'm probably going to get way to deep into analyzing a fast food burger/burrito, but it's my life to waste.

    The meat was pretending to be flame grilled whopper meat, fake grill marks included. I'm pretty sure it was actually one of those soy bean patties that had been microwaved, cut up a little, and sprinkled with generic taco seasoning.

    The TexMex sauce seemed to be not much more than the powdered cheese sauce found in Kraft Mac n Cheese boxes, with a little bit of spiciness added to the flavor. It was even too watered down, just like the real thing. I was left with a watered down sauce that just had a generic, bad hot sauce type of heat flavor in it.

    The vegetables were the main things that came straight out of the Whopper ingredients section. We had leaf lettuce, tomatoes, and pickles. All of them had been wrapped into the tortilla, no surprise, and this allowed them all to become steamed since they were trapped in the heat.

    For whatever reason, I've never liked that. Leaf lettuce on burgers seems to work well, but for most TexMex stuff I like the lettuce and tomato to either sit on top of the main course or on the side. Letting it sit inside the tortilla takes the cool, crisp vegetables and steams them into....limp, bland, and boring. There's a certain theme to this whole meal. I actually found myself looking forward to the pickles more than anything else in the whole conglomeration.

    The tortilla was a poor quality, stale tortilla that collected in hunks on my teeth as I chewed it. Sort of like when I was a little kid and tried eating note book paper for reasons I can't even remember. At least the paper had more flavor than this.

    So, the wonderous Whopperito whittles its winnings to a woeful 3.5/10. Would avoid, would not try again.

    MAC N CHEETOS

    No longer on the menu! I was told they were "pretty popular, and sold out quickly." Either I missed the only good new thing on the menu, or I'm out of touch with stupid fast food ideas.

  14. #14
     Master of the Fork Cid's Knight Freya's Avatar
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  15. #15
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    Default

    Unfortunately the Whopperito is not Burger King's hero.

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