He's got to be a greedy robber-baron. It's obvious he wants to colonize Pluto for himself!
He's got to be a greedy robber-baron. It's obvious he wants to colonize Pluto for himself!
He's an awful man. A staunch Pluto-for-Planet supporter, I am loath to like the monocle or any aspect of this cruel, vicious man. He is clearly a sizist bigot.
But he can play the xylophone.
Oddly enough, Fred's bit of factualy wonderment was fairly interesting, and it's something even I didn't know (and I've read both books of Useless Information).
Let the record show that I liked Sir Patrick Moore before he was cool.
"The most important and recognize player in the history of the country."
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I were as great as Paulo Wanchope.
Sir Patrick Moore likes Red Dwarf. 'Nuff said.
Money, power, sex... and elephants.
-- Capt. Simon Illyan, ImpSec
Wearing an eye patch would certainly cause visual difficulties, though it is well known that with proper training, a skilled pirate can use this seeming impairment to gain the use of a far more powerful sixth sense. Eye patches aside, a properly-fitted monocle could only enhance your vision. If you by some mistake obtained a monocle not suited to your eye, wearing it would still give you a great deal of prestige, as most monocle wearers are known to have especially refined taste.
Interesting point. We should note, however, that the pince-nez was favored by the trust-buster himself, <a href="http://rooseveltinstitution.org/images/bio_teddy.jpg">Teddy Roosevelt</a>. It is true, of course, that McDuck and Glomgold did not in fact wear a true pince-nez, as neither has a <i>nez</i> to <i>pince</i>, but it is also the case that ducks do not have pinnae on their ears. These facts concerning the anatomy of anatids should give us pause when we attempt to draw conclusions about their choice of corrective eyewear. Perhaps all ducks who wear glasses of any kind are wealthy capitalist parasites. I'd say the jury is still out.
You have no idea how much this pleases me. <i>No idea</i>.
Clearly, the men of Bob Schieffer's generation and nearby cohorts, who have been dominant in politics, industry and the media for some time in the United States came to develop an irrational bias against the monocle and continued to promote anti-monocle sentiments in successive generations. Perhaps this latest incident will make more people realize that they've been the victims of a cruel lie and once again accept the monocle on its own merits rather than on prejudice.
Once again, the tide is turning. The chains with which the antimonoclistas have bound our culture are being broken, and we will soon be free once again to wear monocles without fear of the taunts of small-minded men.
As for the possibility of a dual-monocle apparatus, I must admit it is most unorthodox, but adding some redundancy to your visual acuity enhancement system would certainly have its advantages. For instance, if you lose your glasses, you will be completely without a visual corrective, whereas the loss of one monocle will still leave you with some normal visual capability. We should also remember that contact lenses are essentially a form of dual-monocle.
It is so noted. Let me be the first to salute your foresight and independent spirit.
[turkey noises]
I will forever respect whoever uses this as a sig.
Last edited by Quindiana Jones; 08-28-2006 at 07:20 PM. Reason: I am too good.
I think an important issue of the monocular kind to bring up is whether those who currently support monocle wear will allow others the use of their symbol. Surely they can't stop someone from wearing a monocle, but they can force reprecussins on those who wear them and are not part of their sub-culture. Will they simply sit idly by with a shudder as the monocle grows to a trendy status? Will they revolt with political agenda or financial surpression? Or possibly will they choose to use this occurance as a way to narrow down potential recruits in their nefarious schemes? Who knows?
...
That is indeed an important issue. Really, though, it's what the Doomsday Device is for.
[turkey noises]