Lol I don't know, I don't really care about any of that stuff. Toilet seat? Is it that big of a deal? You can't bend over 1 foot and drop the toilet seat for the person you love so its easier for her? Lets not even mention how much "cleaner" it'll make the bathroom look.
Aren't these called Manisms?
No, it's not really that big of a deal, but your argument doesn't work, because it can just as easily, and with as much validity, be said "is it really that difficult to bend over 1 foot and drop the toilet seat for yourself? I mean what are you- crippled?....[incidentally: if you are actually crippled, then I vigorously retract my statement.Originally Posted by Khaotic
Brian: "If I remember correctly, this is the Physics Department."
Chris: "That would explain all the gravity."
All the ones left are true. I deleted the ones that aren't true for me.Guys' Rules
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
Rule nr. 1 is true. Except for rule nr. 1.
Someone had to do it.
I would've phrased it: Rule number 1 is right, but I don't agree with number 1.
I agree with the majority of them.
Str8 Pimpin'
All you people who just went on a self-righteous trip analysing every single rule and disagreeing all fail at life. You killed the joke.
there was a picture here
My notes in bold;
Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers. - Absolutely true. Nearly all of us lack Telepathy. Actually it's estimated about 100% of the world's population probably isn't Telepathic.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. While this is a arguement as old as time, the reason why we want it up is because we're lousy shots, but don't want to admit it. We've been made lazy due to urinals.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be. I don't watch Sunday sports. I don't watch sports with the exception of Boxing. I imagine some other men are the same. But not others.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.Unless there's a bloke with a whistle running backwards keeping score, then shopping cannot be classified as a sport
1. Crying is blackmail.As is saying "If you think I look so good, why do you keep looking at other women?"
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!Honestly, we're stupid creatures. I know I need to be told directly what somebody wants, otherwise they don't get it. Reading between the lines isn't something we do.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.Then again any answer which doesn't make us the bad guy would be nice
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.Although we can offer sympathy, if we get something else out of it from you. Know what I mean?
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.I imagine this one's about "that excuse". We can totally see through it. We would retaliate with something similar, but we just really REALLY like sex
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.This is due to short-term memory loss that all men experience. Same goes for anniversary's and birthdays.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.Soap opera's being known for people walking around in their underwear
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.Unless you're Bulemic/Anorexic. Then we'll probably say you're too thin
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other oneYou've got to love the benefit of the doubt clause
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.Actually if you tell us how to do it straight away that'd be great
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.Or we'll start asking our questions during your time!
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.I personally always ask for questions. My dad however doesn't. It's caused some battles over the years let me tell you
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.Or turquoise, or beige, or subtle lavender. We're still on the primary colour wheels we got when we were six
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.Same situation for breaking wind/burping/urinating
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.Its what we call the eventual Avalanche syndrome
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.The term "rhetorical question" is lost on many men, but not some
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.Provided you don't wear anything to entice any other would-be suitors of course
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.Or guns, or sex, or explosions, or pirates, or how great I am
1. You have enough clothes.Infact, I have some gambling debts and...
1. You have too many shoes.What are you, a centipede?
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!I'm actually buff so I don't qualify for this. The upshot is if I keep in shape, YOU keep in shape too. It's called give and take
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;not unless I throw those shoes out onto the garden and lock the door before you can pick them up. Ha!
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.If women keep treating me like this, I may end up doing a different kind of "camping" altogether...It's what I do, and I'm damn good at it.
There is no signature here. Move along.
Alot of these are true, but not all of them. like the one about the couch, if she's pissed at me for writing something, than she can go sleep on the couch
LoLzOrDs fixed.
Exactly. The amount of whining couples do about one another, you'd think they were forced to be together. What a sad desperate bunch.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Yes, but neither do you fall in when you have to pee. A wet behind is never a good start to the day.
1. Crying is blackmail.
Only if it is intended to be used that way. If a woman cries for any other reason and you don't care you are a cad.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Only if yes and no can be used when you want to know where we were all day.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Lazy, the smart men learn to keep their mouth shut and just hand out hugs.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
Coward.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
Lazy again.
This sounds to me more like the rules for a lazy relationship where no one gives a care about each other then rules for understanding men. Men just aren't that complicated. Mind you they're a good companion to the other rules since those are rules for being a selfish witch so I guess fair is fair.
I'm very complicated I'll have you know. But I'm special. Most of the guys I know are about as complicated as finding an oven in a kitchen.
conclusion. men are different but not stupid. we can take things seriously and use our brains. ive heard things likeGuys' Rules
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
True.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
True.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
True.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
True.
1. Crying is blackmail.
True.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
true
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
were not idiots you know.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
not really.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
True. we can help solve problems. men are not idiots. its just a ton of idiots and yobs giving us a bad name.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
not really. there are more important things than sympathy.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
if someone asks you'll probably say no even if its a lie to make them feel a bit better (unless it would be a completely obivous lie.)
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one
yup. saves a lot of trouble.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
true.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
no. tell us how to do it and ask for a bit of help but if your the best at it just do most of it.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
yes.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
False.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have n o idea what mauve is.
False.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
False
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
True.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
True.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
False.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
sort of true.
1. You have enough clothes.
True.
1. You have too many shoes.
in a lot of cases.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
false. dont be a smartass and talk your lazy-self out of it.
a woman is holding a baby and hoovering at the same time. the phone rings. she turns off the hoover, walks over to the phone and carries on nursing the baby while talking.
a man is holding a baby and hoovering at the same time. the phone rings. he leaves the hoover running, drops the baby, trips over the hoover and rushes to the phone and doesnt pick it up in time.
funny but only true for clumsy idiots.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4
...*holds up free hugs sign.*
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