Tom Cruise. Then I'd find out where he lived, put on a Xenu costume, and then kidnap his daughter whilst cackling and bellowing "You'll never put me back in a Volcano Cruise!".
Paris Hilton is, like, she's so hot, and, like, yeah, that' so hot, and yeah, whatever, that's hot!
Tom Cruise. "I love you Katie," "I love you Tom," "I love you Xenu!" 
Kermit the Frog! He's green people, he's green! And he's a Frog!
Tom Cruise. Then I'd find out where he lived, put on a Xenu costume, and then kidnap his daughter whilst cackling and bellowing "You'll never put me back in a Volcano Cruise!".
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