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Thread: Devil Man's Lesbian Problem

  1. #1
    Banned The Devil Man's Avatar
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    Unhappy Devil Man's Lesbian Problem

    Yes, it is true! Devil Man has a truly sad story to tell you which is known as 'The Tale of Devil Man and the Lesbian' And I need your help my beloved EoFF'ers. I NEED YOUR HELP!

    But before I tell you the Tale... I must tell you something else first.

    Devil Man must tell you that...

    ...

    He Truly Love You All! <--- Tears of Joy!

    Devil Man wants you to know that he loves you. ALL OF YOU! Devil Man loves each and every one of you from the bottom of his and he is truly honoured to have met you all. In the past few years Devil Man has visited many different Forums and has easily got very bored of them all. Very few Forums have interested Devil Man for more then a day. For many months Devil Man wondered aloud to himself 'Oh Mother Nature... will you ever find a Forum for me to be happy in? One in which I can Post in peace and make many kind hearted and lovely friends?'

    But Mother Nature did not answer his call Not at all... so Devil Man thought he would continue to wander the Internet landscape like a lonely Nomadic warrior until the End of Time Itself...

    Until...

    Until...

    Until...

    One Truly Wonderous And Spectacular July Evening he discovered the Joy that is Eyes on Final Fantasy! And much happiness this Forum has brought me since that day! This Forum is truly an astonishing creation!

    And Devil Man would like you to all know that he truly loves each and every one of you! He adores ALL of you and it is why he returns each day, armed with a fresh supply of Threads for you to ponder over and Post in! He loves you all, even those of you who don't like Devil Man () and thinks you are absolutely amazing people! May you ALL be blessed for Eternity!

    Because...

    DEVIL MAN LOVES YOU!!!! YOU ARE LIKE HIS FAMILY!

    That's right! This Forum is like a Family! My online Family! It brings much happiness to Devil Man that he is loved by many offline, but to be as loved by some online... it brings a tear to Devil Man's beautiful, sexy eyes

    And now onto my problem...

    Which I hope you may help me with.

    For you see...

    Devil Man is in love with a lesbian

    Yes. It is true! Devil Man is in love with a woman who, er, likes other women and Devil Man has no idea what to do

    I have known this girl for a long time. A truly wonderous work of nature is she! Yes! She is yet another example of the wonders of Mother Nature! She is graciously tall and elegant, and she has dashing, long, blonde hair which flutters in the wind. Her eyes are as radiant as the Moonlight! Her lips are luscious with their deep red colour and her cheeks are as soft as the petals of a daffodil! Her smile is as astonishing as all the Seven Wonders of the World combined and she walks with the grace of a ballerina.

    And she has a nice butt too!

    But she's a lesbian

    Yes. Mother Nature played a cruel trick on Devil Man to introduce him to this fine creation. She has been a lesbian for many years now. And in that time she has had 5 lady-friends (each as gorgeous as her ). She has never had a boyfriend in her life. She loves women as much as women love her...

    However!!!

    She has recently broken up with her girlfriend of 2 years. Yes, it is true! She has been single for 2 weeks. Rumour has it that she might be about to date another girl who has admired my friend for as long as your friendly, neighbourhood Devil Man.

    Devil Man's topic is therefore... how can he show this girl that Devil Man is the correct way forward for her next lustful desires?

    For you see... Devil Man has been given signals by this girl that she likes him. It is true!!! Yes, yes, I tell true! Devil Man has been given clear indications that she likes him! She squeezed his butt the other day so she must like Devil Man!

    However...

    I can not be sure And the reason why Devil Man can not just 'ask her out' is very simple... he might be rejected... and...

    IN ALL HIS YEARS OF EXISTENCE, DEVIL MAN HAS NEVER ONCE BEEN REJECTED BY A GIRL!

    It is true! Devil Man is much loved by all! Women love Devil Man and he has never been rejected! And he is not about to get a rejection now either...

    So what should Devil Man do next? How should he show this lesbian that Devil Man is her future? After all... he has everything a girl could want! He is handsome, has beautiful eyes, has a lovely smile with wonderful white teeth, has a gorgeous body, and has an amazing personality...

    But what if it is not enough?

    My friends on EoFF...

    No...

    My FAMILY on EoFF ...

    Advise your beloved Devil Man on what to do about his lesbian problem. How can he obtain her heart? Please help

    Because Devil Man loves you... and now he needs you...

    Help your lovely Devil Man...

  2. #2
    dizzy up the girl Rye's Avatar
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    Well, don't become Ben Affleck!


  3. #3
    Polaris's Avatar
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    1 - Make an operation and turn urself into a girl? :chuckle:
    2 - Take her to dinner in some place and treat her like a Goddess so she stops being a lesbian
    3 - Sing to her a romantic song (plz use playback ) and propose her

  4. #4
    Old school, like an old fool. Flying Mullet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rye View Post
    Well, don't become Ben Affleck!
    Bah, you stole my <i>Chasing Amy</i> reference! *shakes fist*
    Figaro Castle

  5. #5

    Default

    If she's a lesbian, she isn't sending you signals like you think. Trust me.

    Think of it this way: If a gay guy got a crush on you, would you stop being straight and be gay for him? It's the same for her.

  6. #6
    Nameleon. Huckleberry Quin's Avatar
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    Screw her Devil Man (not literally...)! Marry me instead!

  7. #7
    Ich bin ein Kaltduscher Vikeve's Avatar
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    Simple make her love you more than any girl she could possibly meet. I say ask her out.

    Smiley face for the loving Devil Man

  8. #8
    Ball of Pure being sephirothishere's Avatar
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    Well, don't become Ben Affleck
    thats what i was gonna say....

    Sephiro this here.

  9. #9
    Reno's my man! <3 Fire_Emblem776's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LunarWeaver View Post
    If she's a lesbian, she isn't sending you signals like you think. Trust me.

    Think of it this way: If a gay guy got a crush on you, would you stop being straight and be gay for him? It's the same for her.
    Not much you can do Devil man, gomen,

  10. #10
    YOU BOYS LIKE MEXICO?! Jowy's Avatar
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    Here's some sagelike advice, seeing as I spent a good chunk of time theoretically 'Chasing Amy.'

    <b>Don't do it.</b> ^_^

  11. #11

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    If she's lesbian there's nothing you can do, duh.
    Unless you're a girl and you didn't tell us. <.<

  12. #12
    Breast Member McLovin''s Avatar
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    Make a threesome with a straight girl.

  13. #13
    Who's scruffy lookin'? Captain Maxx Power's Avatar
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    I can't even begin to read all of that, so I'm just going to give you a random bit of advice:

    Whatever you're planning on doing, I'd not do it if I were you.
    There is no signature here. Move along.

  14. #14

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    Look Devil Man, you only have two options here, and one of them I agree with.

    1. I think you should not pursue this. You would have to have concrete proof that she is at least a bisexual to not expect rejection. And you don't want rejection. If you are completely set out to not want rejection, forget about it now, because chances are not good you will get a yes.

    2. Or you could just take her aside and confront her. Ask her if she is only interested in women only or if she is interested in you. If she is interested in you, ask her out.

    Personally I would choose 1, though. Give it up now before you invest more emotions into it than you already have. It's just going to be all the harder to accept her rejection, instead of trusting yourself enough to know what the most likely answer will be.

    (If you had put this in EoEo it would have filtered out all the spam. Which there is currently a lot of.)
    Last edited by Vincent, Thunder God; 10-13-2006 at 11:14 PM.

  15. #15
    Breast Member McLovin''s Avatar
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    Tell her you are lesbian too. Problem solved.

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