Tell me a joke. (I don't care how dumb it is)

[McLovin']

Is that all you people got?

[The Devil Man]

A man from Cincinnati died and went to Hell. As the Devil walked around one day he ran into the man wearing a huge smile on his face and asked, "Why are you wearing a t-shirt and that stupid smile? This is Hell, you're supposed to be hot and miserable down here!"

The man replied, "Ah, Hell ain't that bad. I'm from Cincinnati. The summer sun up there is really scorching. This is nothing by comparison."

The Devil walked away puzzled thinking to himself, "I'll fix this." So the Devil goes to the furnace and turns it up to 'high.' A few days later the Devil finds the man from Cincinnati standing around with his shirt off but still with a smile on his face.

"What's wrong with you!" The Devil says. "Aren't you hot yet?"

"Nah," says the man, "This reminds me of the days in my youth when I used to work in the field with my brother harvesting corn. Thanks for reminding me, I hadn't thought about him in a long time!"

That really ticks off the Devil. "I'll make him miserable one way or another," he thinks. So he goes to the furnace and turns it off, and decides to turn on the Air Conditioner to 'MAX.' A few days later he tracks down the man from Cincinnati, which turned out not to be all that hard to do because he was jumping and screaming like mad. The Devil in his sinister way walks up to the man. "Hehehehe! You're miserable now aren't you!" he cackles.

"Hell no!" says the man. "I've never been happier! THE BENGALS WON THE SUPER BOWL!"

Oh yeah, I remember that!

Yeah, I got pwned that day

[Gullick]

i read this one was on a birthday card that i bought my mate once

a city becomes flooded during a storm and a man climbs up onto his roof to escape the rising water. But he is now trapped and has no way of getting out of the flood.
A lifeboat sails past and they call to the man on the roof.
'Jump in the boat and we'll get you to safety'
the man replys:
'no, its okay, The Lord God will save me from this flood'
after a few minutes, the life boat sails away, leaving the man on his roof.
about an hour later, the storm is still raging on and the water level is still rising, but the man is still on his roof. A group of people in a fishing boat row past and call to him:
'hey there, jump in this boat with us and we can take you out of the storm and this flood'
to which the man replys:
'no, the Lord will save me, just you wait see'
But the people in the fishing boat do not wait and row away.
Another hour later, the storm is still going on and the water is higher still. A rescue helicopter looking for survivours flies past and spots the man on the roof. they call down to him usin a loud speaker:
'hey, we'll drop you a ladder and you can climb up into this helicopter, you'll die if you stay there much longer'
to which the man replyed:
'No, i will not die, the Lord will see to that, he will save me from this flood'
half an hour later, the guy died. he goes to heaven and sees Saint Peter standing next to the gates. the man asks the saint:
'excuse me, i have been a religious man all my life and have not commited any sins or broken a single commandment, how come the Good Lord did not save me?'
To which Saint Peter replies:
'blo*dy hell man, he sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more do you want?'

well...i thought it was good ?

-Gull-

[Laugh at face of Danger]

Blond joke coming right up.

A blonde goes to see her doctor, she's suffered quite bad burns to both sides of her face, the doctor asks her "How did you burn your face?"
The blonde blushes a little, "I was doing the ironing when the phone rang, so I answered the iron by mistake."
The doctor makes a note, "What about the other side."
"They called back."

[Cloudane]

That's very similar to the Stevie Wonder joke I keep hearing...

What's brown and sticky?
(SPOILER)a stick.

[Leen-Leen]

It´s just something to think about:

If everybody was different, wouldn't they all be the same, because they are all different?

now think about it.

[I Don't Need A Name]

A blonde and a brunette jump off a cliff. which one hits the ground first?
(SPOILER)the brunette, the blonde has to stop to ask for directions
the next one might be offensive to somepeople

What do you get if you cross Arnie and Michael Jackson?
(SPOILER)Michael Wasanigger
whats his catchphrase?
(SPOILER)I'll be black

[Quindiana Jones]

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?
Gang rape.

[Laugh at face of Danger]

MY SCREEN NAME JUST SAW YOUR FACE

thats a good one.

[Cloudane]

This one's really offensive, so unless you're very thick skinned, don't read it!

<!--(SPOILER)What's worse than finding 2 babies in a bin?
Finding 1 baby in 2 bins-->[leeza]*snip*

If you know it's offensive, don't post it. ~ Leeza[/leeza]

[fire_of_avalon]

Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.

The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

eh?

[Jowy]

Here's a joke:

The Playstation 3!

hahaha, I kill me.

[Rocket Edge]

Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.

The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

eh?

lol *appaulds*

[Decessus]

omg blond joek1111

Two blondes go out hunting and soon they come upon some tracks.
Blonde #1 says: "I think they're deer tracks!"
Blonde #2 says: "No, I think they're bear tracks!"
Blonde #1 says: "No! They're deer tracks!"
Blonde #2 says: "I sayed that they were bear tracks!"
While they were arguing they got hit by a train.

[Evastio]

A joke for the smart people here:

One guys goes in a bar and says, "I want some H2O" The bartender gives him his drinks, he drinks it, and feels refreshed.

Another guy says, "I want some H2O too" The bartender gives him his drink, he drinks it, and dies.