Tell me a joke. (I don't care how dumb it is)

[Cloudane]

Aha....



A duck walks into a bar. Says "Got any bread?"
"No," says the barman, and the duck walks off.
Duck comes back next day, "got any bread?"
"Didn't I tell you yesterday?" says the barman, "NO!" - duck walks off.
Third day - "got any bread"
"Look, I'm getting tired of this. NO, we don't have any bread. GO AWAY." - duck walks off.
Fourth day - "got any bread?"
"Right," says the barman, "I'm smurfing sick of this. If you ask me that one more time, I'll nail your beak to the bar!" - duck walks off.
Fifth day - "got any nails?"
Barman looks confused. "Erm, no?"
"Good," says the duck.

(SPOILER)"Got any bread?"

[Hawkeye]

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to put up a picture of Jesus.

[Frozen Phantom]

Heres a Resident Evil 4 joke

Leon runs into the merchant at the castle

Leon: Why can't you just give me the rocket launcher

Merchant: cause dumbass, Rocket launchers cost money, and I need money

Leon: Then why don't I just use the shotgun to blow your brains out

Merchant: cause I'm an NPC, you can't kill NPCs

Leon: watch me

Leon fires shotgun round at merchant...nothing happens

Merchant pulls out extra shotgun and kills Leon

YOU ARE DEAD *don't screw with the merchant*

[Cruise Control]

One time, a cop tazered this one kid. Five times. And he [img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img] his pants.

[Cipher]

'kay, here's one for you. It might be offensive (aka, an Osama Bin Laden joke), so I'm gonna coat it in Spoiler Sauce.

(SPOILER)One day in the future, Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room; in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed -- over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Bin Laden said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room; in it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Osama bin Laden.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Osama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Osama bin Laden looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,"Yeah, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

[Quindiana Jones]

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to put up a picture of Jesus.

Haha brilliant. I'm keeping that one.

[BarelySeeAtAll]

Aha....



A duck walks into a bar. Says "Got any bread?"
"No," says the barman, and the duck walks off.
Duck comes back next day, "got any bread?"
"Didn't I tell you yesterday?" says the barman, "NO!" - duck walks off.
Third day - "got any bread"
"Look, I'm getting tired of this. NO, we don't have any bread. GO AWAY." - duck walks off.
Fourth day - "got any bread?"
"Right," says the barman, "I'm smurfing sick of this. If you ask me that one more time, I'll nail your beak to the bar!" - duck walks off.
Fifth day - "got any nails?"
Barman looks confused. "Erm, no?"
"Good," says the duck.

(SPOILER)"Got any bread?"

that is a legendary joke!!!

[Ethanol Dreams]

Who stole the soap from the bathroom?
The "Robber" Ducky!


When Quasimodo died, a plea went out to the citizens of Notre Dam for a new bell-ringer. Many volunteered, but they all lacked individualality, until... A man with no arms came into the bell tower and asked to audition. He obviously could not strike the bell with a mallet or anything because he had no hands, so he rang the bell with his face! Unfortunately, when he went to headbutt the bell for a 3rd time, he lost his balance, toppled over and fell to his death in the streets below.
By the time the overseer made it to the bottom, a huge crowd had already gathered round the corpse.
"Who is this man?" Someone asked.
"I don't know," replied the overseer "but his face rings a bell!" :laugh:

[fantasyjunkie]

What do you get when you cross Frosty the Snowman with Count Dracula?







Frostbite!

[Fire_Emblem776]

Whats a Metroids favorite food?
Prime rib! Get it Metroid Prime, prime rib XD

[Firo Volondé]

Only this one is really dumb...

Why are days longer in summer than they are in winter?
Because...(SPOILER)Heat makes things expand!

*Ducks* :shoot: :shoot: <-- annoyed people

[Quindiana Jones]

Only this one is really dumb...

Why are days longer in summer than they are in winter?
Because...(SPOILER)Heat makes things expand!

*Ducks* :shoot: :shoot: <-- annoyed people

lol

[vorpal blade]

What's a famous yet often fogotten band? (SPOILER)The Who

Why did the irritated man ruin my pizza? (SPOILER)'cause he was a noid.

Said the manure salesman at the end of the day, "I'm pooped!"

Mom, handing me keys: "Eric, here."
Me: "No, Eric here.

My vaccuum really sucks.

My fans really blow.

Yes, my refrigerators running. Yes, I see why you shouldn't give them legs now.

[blackmage_nuke]

What's a surgeons favourite instrument?
the organ

what's a plumbers favourite instrument?
Pipes

[The Captain]

"I don't want to say Bush is a lame duck President, but today, Cheney shot him."

Take care all.