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What the hell? Ok so you are a somewhat funny guy? and to make a career of being a comedian you're willing to gain like 10 stone in fat? (fat jokes only work when the comedien is truly obese by the way) Get your ass back to reality will you? Seriously, getting fat and making fat jokes will not make you any more funny. It would be like saying Chris Rock should make himself white so his white boy jokes are funnier. Funny is something you either have or don't have.
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