This is probably my favourite ROM hack of all time. It's a little bit packed with injokes from a forum I've never been to and has a lot of just plain random crap that doesn't necessarily add much to it, but the near-complete removal of the original cast and plot I quite like for some reason, as well as it being something I played during a slightly crappier period of my life and it got me through it. I could babble on about what I like so much about it, but I'm just gonna go ahead and post screenshots and talk about it.
Onward!
The game starts out by telling us that the game is awful. Promising start. It then goes on an ambiguously misanthropic rant.
You no doubt noticed that guy in the corner. That Gau edit replaces Kefka.
And the obligatory slogan drop to remind us that this is indeed from Something Awful. Enter main characters.
So we have two pirates with rather odd names and Terra's been replaced by a palette swap of Locke with pink hair. What an original character; wonder if he can steal?
Anyway it's time to attack Canada with our Magitek armour. No backing down now! Let's take the usual right turn at the beginning for a bit of bonus experience!
Hrmmm...
Well that doesn't look good.
Or that. (By the way, Doom House is an awesome movie and you should check it out.)
So Fragmaster nukes my party...
...and we're dead already. To be fair the game does actually come with a readme file telling you not to go right at the start.
Back on task now, we can see that these pirates have taken the whole pirate vs. ninja battle to FOOR NEW REBER.
Oh, and that's the full list of Magitek skills. My personal favourite name there is ByeWhore, followed closely by Lazerboobs.
We waste the ninjas good and get what I think is an awesome level up message :3 Also notice how the pink-haired man appears to be holding something in his victory pose? Those are his trousers. Be thankful the Magitek armour is obscuring what's under them.
Another pair of ninjas seems to be posing a credible threat...
...and they send their dogs of hellish fury after us.
Who spontaneously die before I can input a command.
Who's this?
It's Taco the Wonder Dog! Apparently! I honestly have no earthly clue who that is!
But before we move on, a seminar on... save poo.
Oh, and while we're doing interfacey stuff, let's find out what this ARRANGE command does...
BASTARD! Yes, the arrange command deletes certain items from the inventory. I don't think this is a prank, more a side-effect of such extensive ROM-hacking.
Here we see proof that the pirates are indeed pirates. Also I have no idea what pink-haired Locke's portrait is meant to be.
He does start equipped with a Segway though. That's going to be very useful for sure.
Here's what happened to the pendant. Woo.
But now it's time for our first boss encounter! Enter Livestock, Whelk/Ymir's replacement.
The dialogue itself is a bit lame I guess but the actual graphics replacing the boss really tickled me the first time I played this game :3 Anyway, we follow imsuxok?'s advice and leave the shell (well, desk) alone and Livestock goes down as easily as its counterpart.
Time to reap the rewards.
...cosplayer?
What has become of imsuxok? and Gilgame? Who the hell is this pink-haired man? Why is a cosplayer nuking people? Find out next time on Awful Fantasy 3!