Get them drunk and then punch them in the face and laugh at them but tel them you're laughing with them and it 'll be AWESOME. ^_^
Tell them to snuggle with some ice cream; lots of it.
Give them a gun: Suicide is the only option.
Tell'um to Sleep. You'll get over it.
Verbal abuse, nothing makes someone get over themselves like yelling.
Give them a plan to... GET EVEN 
Nothing, helping would mean you have friends.
These options suck, I protest them all.
Get them drunk and then punch them in the face and laugh at them but tel them you're laughing with them and it 'll be AWESOME. ^_^
Wat
is
going
on
wtf
rawr
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